He was good looking. Impulsive. And out of control. To this day, we remember him as a little man in a big body.
Why would we think of him as a “little man”? Not his size. He stood head and shoulders above everyone else. What made him small were his angry efforts to protect and promote himself at the expense of others.
Seems to me that there are a lot of us who, as short-fused, angry people could profit by going to school on Saul, the first king of Israel. The story of his life tells us that this physically gifted man (1Samuel 9:2) was consumed by a rage that was rooted in envy and fear (1Samuel 18:6-15).
The emotion that ended up ruining him wasn’t the healthy kind of anger that he once experienced in behalf of others when he saw an injustice being done (1Samuel 11:6-7). He later shriveled, from the inside out, in a small, self-consuming boil-down.
The tragic life of Saul is an edgy, provocative reminder to those of us who are tempted to use anger to control or intimidate others.
None of us are above the temptation to let good ambition go bad. We all live our lives between two options. Fear God. Or fear man. The fear of God gives courage (as in the case of David or Abigail). The fear of man creates cowards (like Saul or Jezebel). He used the public trust of his office, and the resources of the army of Israel to try and chase down and kill a better man than himself.
We can look at Saul on three levels. On the surface he looked like a big, intimidating, powerful man. Look close enough to see what’s under his skin and we find motives. He a little boy of a man–envious and afraid. And why? Dig a little deeper. Below the issues and motives of our lives he was being controlled by what he believed about God. Through impulse and wounded pride, he had lost confidence in the God who had earlier been his strength (1Samuel 11:12-14). Controlled by his own insecurities, he acted on his fears and tried to kill his successor who–by contrast, feared God more than man.
1. On the surface– anger issues
2. Under the skin– motives of fear and self-protection
3. At heart– a lost confidence in God.
It’s ironic isn’t it. Whether we are remembered as big or small has less to do with the size of our body– than the size and condition of our heart.