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Super Faith vs Super Doubt

If you’ve been a follower of Christ for some time, would you say that your spiritual journey has been about what you expected it to be?

Or have you been somewhat disillusioned to discover that followers of Christ seem to have about a many physical, emotional, and family issues as the general population?

Seems to me that it is so important to have satisfying answers for the fact that, even though personal faith, hope, and love tend to promote emotional, physical, and social health, they don’t make us immune to the problems that people who don’t believe in Christ have to deal with.

One of my younger brothers was a runner who participated each year in our city’s annual 25K River Bank Run. He was dearly loved by friends and family for his sense of humor and deep commitment to Christ. Yet he died at a fairly young age during one of his daily workouts.

The opposite can also happen. People who show little regard for their physical and spiritual health, and who don’t follow conventional wisdom for what it takes to live a long and productive life, can be physically active and mentally sharp well into their later years.

One response could be, “So what’s the point? What’s the use of a faith in God that leaves us with as many physical or spiritual struggles as those who trust only in themselves?”

So let’s think about it together. If you were talking to someone who was considering faith in Christ, or if you were merely reflecting on your own experience, are there any of the following statements that most clearly express your own thinking?

a.  Followers of Christ have about as many health, work, and family issues as anyone.  (Psalm 73:1-16)

b.  Even if it turns out that our faith is not true we would not regret it because of the ways our life has been enriched by Christ (Gal 5:22-23).

c.  “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable” (1Cor 15:19).

d.  Regardless of what happens in this life, well being in the life to come will soon be what counts. (Psalm 73:3-5, 13-14 nlt).

e. Even if we aren’t better than others (by choice or personal failure), we are better off, because we have entrusted ourselves to One who suffered, died, and rose again for our rescue? (Romans 7:14-8:1)

f. If I had a chance to start over, I would not invest so much of my life in chasing spiritual answers (Ecc 7:15-16).

g.There are times when I am so embarrassed by my faith that I’m inclined to deny that I ever knew Christ (Luke 22:55-62).


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59 Responses to “Super Faith vs Super Doubt”

  1. drkennyg says:

    I would say that I can relate to a,b,d, and e above. When I first started my wholehearted faith in Christ (when I was born again) it was late in my life. I was 61 at the time. Now I’m still a “young” Christian at 67 and have passed through a couple “phases”. At first I was ecstatic about my new life with Jesus, but then I soon learned that evangelism was not a choice but a commitment (see Matthew 28: 16-20 for the great commission to spread the Gospel). Since I thought I was not naturally suited for this commission, I spent about a year in disillusionment regarding my ultimate demise – doomed to Hell anywhere I turned.

    I remember the time when this attitude completely changed. I was trying all along to improve my approach to others regarding salvation with what I considered poor results. In most ways I was experiencing rejection and/or persecution that I could not understand. But I kept at it participating in many church activities (e.g., the Prayer Group on Tuesday nights). Then one day I decided to join in with the folks at Voice of the Martyrs (www.persecution.com) and am currently preparing an “action pack” for Christians in Pakistan. I experienced great joy in this preparation and have also learned to accept the rejection I get sometimes from friends and strangers alike as par for the course. The actual results of my evangelistic attempts are less important than the fact that I am doing it.

  2. sitsathisfeet says:

    Personally my belief in Christ offers me hope when nothing else seems to. I would not regret my pursuit of Spiritual things, only that I hadn’t done it more, better, longer. I do not want to disappoint the Lord, even though it is his will that enables me to want to live for Him. What a great gift. I think statement B would be the one closest to what I believe. And as far as statement A is true, the difference is how we view and respond to those problems. Where some would see a problem, we see an opportunity to glorify Christ in our lives and the world. One of my Pastor’s once said, ours is the only hope of an empty tomb!

  3. poohpity says:

    I have to say that when I started this walk with the Lord the only expectation I had was deliverance from my old life. Which I have. I am not disappointed with all the things that happen to me in this life because Jesus told us it was not going to be a walk in the park. I was however disappointed and disillusioned with fellow believers. I am also disappointed with myself as well because I trust so much in my own strength to go through this life when I have a God who wants me to fully rely on Him to be my soul/sole provider. I have such a hard time of getting out of the way and trusting God with my life.

    As believers we have the advantage of looking at every thing through spiritual eyes which is a whole new world and way of looking at life. The only regret I have about my life with Christ is that I keep taking things back that I have given Him.

  4. jasonong says:

    The clear answer for me is D.

    God is continually working in us and so we have to go through trials just like the general population. The difference perhaps, is how we respond to these.

    If we have strong faith (a gift from God) and make it through these trials to be refined into a better follower of Christ, we will run the good race where all the troubles of this world is nothing compared to the richness of eternal life in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ!

    Soldier on!

  5. Dianelyn says:

    I think “super faith” as well as “super doubt” is experienced be everyone at one time or another. I have had super faith when things in my life were going great. And I’ve had super doubt when things were difficult or I was in some kind of pain. As I grew in my faith journey my faith got stronger but the doubt didn’t go away. And what I was doubtful about changed with every situation. Doubt about heaven,about God’s love for me. About why I was the one in so much, emotional,or physical,or abuseful pain. I know that my pain is never God’s fault,although I get angry with Him.And I know that getting angrey with God in another way of bringing my pain to Him. And that’s always good. As our Father it only strenthens our relationship with Him. So for me super faith goes hand in hand with super doubt. And through it all I just love Him more. Thanks.

  6. Dianelyn says:

    Didn’t use the A-G answers. All of them except G has some truth fo me in my faith journey.

  7. SFDBWV says:

    A lot here to discuss. I think first of all, when talking to an unbeliever it is important to not invent a Christian experiance that isn’t real.

    But that this life is small when compaired to eternity.

    Eternal living is what it is all about. Not this miserble life we suffer now.

    Starting over….my only regret’s are in not putting all of my life’s energies into doing Christ’s work. But then I wouldn’t be who I am now. For all of lifes miseries have carved out the man I am now. God’s will.

    I am so sorry Mart about your younger brother. I read your story of him in one of the little booklets you sent. And for me to say he’s in a better place now is insulting to all who suffer his not being here with them now. We have all lost people to death. But our hope is that we will see them again.

    The scripture is quite clear, bad things happen to everyone. But in my limited vision and experiance it seems to happen to the best of people too often.

    Though Daniel went into the lions den unscathed. Many early believers died in the Roman arenas. I am told that many who were burned to death held up two fingers as the flames consumed them, as a sign to the others of their faith in the Father and the Son. We now recognise the sign as the victory sign.

    I have never been embarassed for my Christianity but I sure have for other believers. Especially some I see selling the Gospel on TV.

    Over my door in my house is that famous statement from Joshua, 24:15 “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

  8. ytalk says:

    I travel the same valleys that I assume all men and women travel: doubt, impatience, greed, anger etc… I try to remember when I’m in these places to cry out to God to give me His: help, strength, wisdom, courage, power etc… However, often I find it was my course change that has gotten me lost. Coming out of that valley is simply asking Him to put me back on His trail. He will never abandon me. He will never forsake me. He is a God of eternal and unconditional love who understands my weaknesses and frailties (no justification for willful sin, yet I sin). I don’t know if this has anything to do with the topic. But, I know for 30 years I walked without Him and my life, today is of no comparison to those 30 years. What a loss! What mercy and grace!

  9. sjd says:

    I suppose e would be by my strongest response with agreement on some of the others. But if we are presenting a reason for our faith, the most reasonable to me would be that we are in desperate need of rescue, as we are dead in our sins, condemned to Hell unless we place our faith in Christ alone. No one is good, and no one can stand before God, apart from His righteousness being ours. A Holy and Just God must see sin be dealt with. The need for a Savior is of first importance. What transpires in this life is a vapor in light of eternity.

    Having said that, I am reminded that Jesus said that eternal life is a relationship that begins at conversion, so we do not need to wait till our physical death for experiencing the life of Christ. I am just beginning to understand the wonder of what was accomplished at our salvation. We not only have received the righteousness of Christ, been adopted as a child of God, given the desire to seek after God(law written on our hearts), and been indwelt by God Himself….. We now have the capacity to see Christ live through us, now fulfilling the purpose that we were created for, to glorify God. Now, in the varied and painful circumstances in this life, we are able to have the mystery, Christ within us, be expressed in these “jars of clay”. I am so thankful to be bowing my knee now rather than later, when it will be too late.

  10. konaeast says:

    Thanks, Mart. These are just the questions I’ve been dealing with lately. I see I’m not the only one dealing with these issues.

  11. Romans838 says:

    For me C and D would be expressing my thinking

  12. uncertain says:

    I don’t post that often, but so many of your posts resonate with me, epecially this one. I’m one of your younger bloggers (2nd year of college). Letter g pretty much describes me. I grew up as a pastor’s son, and have seen the reality of Christianity. My childhood was not ideal by any means (although this would surprise most people, because, after all, I was in a pastor’s family), and has caused me some major problems that I struggle with constantly. At this point, I don’t see how I can tell anyone about any faith I have. Given my experience, what do I have to offer people? This struggle really hinders my ability to form relationships, especially with “unsaved” people, because eventually they find out about my religious upbringing (after all I was homeschooled, so all they have to do is ask what school I went to),so I keep my distance. If people find out, I have to erect a facade and pretend that my experience with Christianity has been great. Otherwise, if they knew the truth, Christianity would be very unattractive. I really don’t know how to resolve my struggles at this point. My experience with Christianity appears to challange the validity of what the Bible describes Christianity to be.

  13. SFDBWV says:

    Faith is both a gift and a fruit of the Spirit. Nothing can be accomplished without God. How do we get more faith? By nurturing it. Hearing the Word of God. Who is the Word? Where do we find Him?

    Some people have little faith, so when the trials of life come upon them either they sink or they get busy and aquire more faith through the very trial that they are tested with.

    Other people have great faith. They are able to withstand the onslaught of the firey trials that will come a little better, but still continue to grow through the very pain they are to suffer.

    Now for a personal story to help me demonstrate. I have had faith my entire life, that has grown stronger over the years. My son’s walk with the Lord had only began when this trial was handed him.

    I did not know it but God was growing great faith in me for the days ahead when I would need it. And my family would need me to be strong for them.

    My wife had no faith, ever. Not until her father got sick and hung on to life for months. While he could still talk, I ask him if he had made his peace with God. He said that he had not and that would be a tough thing for him to do. But he did.

    Then his wife and daughter ask me why was he still suffering? Why hadn’t God let him die? Since he had ask for and recieved forgiveness from God, why did he have to keep suffering?

    My explanation for them was that his lingering was not about him any more but about them. It was they who needed to come to the Lord. And he was living for them to do so. His wife, my mother in law did. My wife, on the edge but not yet. He passed on.

    When Matthew wrecked and we found ourselves living in a hallway for 23 days at the hospital she began to soften up on her own refusal to accept the Lord. She watched as I and many many others including mine and Matthews pastor prayed for his recovery. She began her journey from darkness into the light.

    After Matt began to wake up from the coma he had been in, she thought things was on the road to recovery. But then discovered she had cancer. Not nessesaraly terminal, with treatments maybe…

    The last month of her life, when all hope had left her. She finaly came to to ask for the Lord. And told me how sorry she was for everything, especially not being here to help with Matt.

    For about the first 5 years of this trial Matt is in. He would try with all his strength and all his faith to get up and walk. He and I would go to the Altar and I would hear Matt ask God to please let him walk again.

    Matt would get determined and insist I go off and allow him to walk to me. He told me he has “seen” it that way, whereas he would rise up from his bed and walk out to the kitchen to me. So I would stand as far from him as he wanted. Then with all his strength he would try and get up. Only to fail.

    He would cry, and my heart would break.

    For the last few years I have had to watch hope fade from him. He believes God will help others but not him. He gets angry with God and with me. Because he believes God is in control of everything. He believes God wants him to suffer the life he has to live. We travel from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other evey day. Sometimes every hour. He can’t remember so much of his life. But remembers he wants a life.

    Pretty deep stuff from a fellow the doctors gave no chance of ever coming out of a coma.

    I wouldn’t call it so much doubts as rather whys. Matt asks me why many dozens of times a day. I don’t know isn’t an accetable answer. It just buys me a little time.

    As I look back accross my life,I realize, I was being prepared for all that has happened. For Matt’s sake for Rita and her family’s sake, for my sake.

    When Glenna came to “finnish out” with me. She had no idea the spiritual battle ground ahe was comming to. But was and is eager to help. Because she gave into the unction God had put upon her, she came. Now her own faith and spiritual growth continues to grow at levels she couldn’t have imagined.

    This journey isn’t over yet for us. But Faith in God and in and on His Son our Christ will see us through to the end. Of this I have no doubt.

  14. Joe_Miller0510 says:

    Two things:

    – God sees us from the perspective of eternity, not simply the lifetime that we spend on this earth. We need to constantly remind ourselves of this perspective

    – Consider the sufferings of the spiritual giants of the early church. Christianity is not ‘easy street’ by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, Joy is to be found, but God allows us to be tested and tempered. Patience and faith are necessary.

  15. Mike says:

    I’d like to address what “uncertain” is feeling because I’m afraid that my own children will one day find themselves in the same predicament–raised in a good Christian home, but not really knowing, appreciating, the forgiveness and mercy of God because they have never known life without it.

  16. daisymarygoldr says:

    Mart, so sorry to hear about your brother… agree, that sometimes sudden death of the very young and Godly, can be very perplexing. At the church back home, there was a brilliant 10 yr-old boy, Solomon, who loved the Lord so-o-o much. He faithfully helped with the chores in the house of God, greeted people on Sunday mornings and went with the grown-up men for open-air gospel preaching. Regardless of others ages or background, he would enthusiastically share Christ with them. A very charming personality…always smiling and cheerful, he was loved by one and all, in a church where approx 5K gathered in one service. Everyone saw him as someone who would grow up to be a great evangelist someday, when all of a sudden death snuffed out the vibrant budding young life. He got hit by an oncoming truck while riding his bike to church for a Thursday evening prayer meeting. It shocked the entire community both young and old. At his funeral (which equaled that of some famous political figure) one of the elders comforted his Sunday school friends like this: “perhaps the Lord really needed faithful Solomon to help Him with the special project of building mansions in Heaven!” Now, I don’t know if this sounds comforting to you, but at least we know your brother is in a better place.

  17. daisymarygoldr says:

    Super faith and super doubt…Or is it Mustard seed faith vs. Giant doubt? Either we choose to exercise the God-given “mustard seed-sized” faith to believe Him or choose to trust everything else other than Him to entertain “giant-sized” doubts. Personally, was never embarrassed by my faith. Accepted Jesus as a child and was raised to be always conscious of my Christian call. By my words I have never denied or doubted God. However, in my actions there were times when I did deny or doubt Him, to trust my own logic or instincts. I do not regret, rather am grateful for those circumstances of misplaced faith that taught me to trust Him alone!

    c. and d. clearly express my thinking. Normally, what I have seen is that everyone uses the physical concepts to understand the unseen things of the spiritual. For me it’s the other way round…I use my spiritual senses to explain my physical existence. Hence it becomes much easier for me to not accept the literal or natural as the real thing. It makes perfect sense for me to see beyond the earthly and temporal life and enjoy the spiritual blessings of the eternal. Please, don’t ask me why I am like this…am I abnormal? Maybe I am!

    Steve, praying for you, Matt and Glenna…

  18. SFDBWV says:

    Some more thoughts….God had the Israelites avoid going through one paticular area during their invation of the Promised Land. 600 years later, we get the story of Ruth. The line of Christ.

    God will use us for His purposes. Our entire lives may have been orchestrated by God just for one moment in time. One encounter that aided in the salvation of another.

    Do not let the Tree of Knowledge still be a hinderance to your walk with God.

    Just believe, just have faith. Let God do the rest.

  19. gr8grannyjacobs says:

    uncertain: I was very touched by your post.

  20. cherielyn says:

    Uncertain:
    I feel your pain. Please know that you are in my prayers. While I, myself, was not a PK, I and my six siblings were raised in much the same rigid environment, though not home-schooled (I’m 62). All of us, when we left the nest, sampled what the world had to offer. As time has gone by, most of us have eventually returned back to the “church,” having regrets for the time we wasted with our “worldly living.”

    My three youngest sisters all attended very rigid “Christian” schools. One of them accepted Christ sometime in the 2 years prior to her death, at age 47, from heart failure. Another is very agnostic, only one hair’s width from being an atheist. The youngest is indifferent.

    God has drawn back to Himself the remaining four of us. It seems, for the most part, a person’s perspective changes when they have children. The first two sisters mentioned never had children. The youngest has one child.

    For me, personally, items a & e most clearly express my life experience. “But by God’s grace, there go I……”

  21. Jumblee2855 says:

    Hi there Uncertain, You are honest and straight forward. It takes a brave person to admit about their uncertainty. Hebrew 12 V 2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,…” If we run our race looking at other Christians or Christianity, we will have doubts and uncertainties in our life. Remember, how Peter, when he tried to walk on the water nearly sank because he took his eyes off Jesus and started worrying about the surrounding water. Take your doubts to the Lord in your prayers. Jesus will help clear all your uncertainty. In John 20 V 24 to 29, we read about Thomas the disciple of our Lord, who had his uncertainty. He doubted that it was the risen Lord Jesus standing in front of him until he touched our risen Lord’s palms. Well, Uncertain, I will be praying for you every time I pray for my three children. I too have a son in 2nd year University –College.
    Hi Mart, thank you for sharing about your brother. It is painful to loose a loved one in such tragic way. I believe you will see him in heaven. 17 years ago I lost my younger sister. She committed suicide. She had marital problems as well as ill health. I don’t know if she was a believer in Christ. So I don’t know if I will ever see her again. It is painful even to think about it. You see, I was born in a non-Christian family. When I was 8 to 9 yrs of age a friend invited me to Sunday school. There, I heard about Jesus for the first time. When I was 13, I gave my heart to the Lord and decided to follow Christ. As a teenager I used to get confused about lots of things in the bible. My faith was not strong. My brother used to say that I was all jumbled up. He gave me this nick name ‘Jumblee’. I proudly use it now. Friends from the church used to give me copies of ODB. I learnt to read the ODB and bible passages every day. It helped me develop a spiritual life. I was 21 when I was baptised. However, my family were not happy about my conversion. I had lots of problems at home. I had to leave home and stay with friends. However, I kept in touch with my brother and sister. I always shared my faith with them. My brother, used to say that he was an Atheist. I got married to a Christian gentleman when I was 27. When I was 33, my sister died. Now I am 50 yrs old. I have three children. The youngest is 18 year old and severely disabled. I have had many ups and downs in my life. I have often wondered why the Lord, allows such pain in a believers life. So Mart, my answer to your question is (b), (d), and (e).
    Dianelyn, I too used to get angry, but I have learned to pour my heart out in prayer to the Lord. SFDBWV, you are doing a wonderful job. My prayers are with you for Matt and Glenna. Poohpity, I too have to learn to stop trusting in my own strength and learn to fully rely on the Lord. Yes, the Lord is still working on me and my faith.

  22. ttl7praz says:

    Greetings fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been reading the Been Thinking About column for quite some time now and am excited to be leaving a comment for the first time. I truly believe that God is really on a mission to stress to and encourage believers now more than ever before that faith in Him is the key to survival in what I truly personally believe are tribulation times. Just yesterday, my husband (who is a pastor) preached from 1Peter1:3-9 which talks about praising God in good and bad times. I for one and greatly appreciative of the joy I recieve daily which Jesus promises to those who believe and which truly surpasses all understanding. Just last week, a couple received a call from their presumably healthy 10-year old son’s school that he had died of a heart attack while at recess, I learned of a young close relative’s return of his cancer and this morning a co-worker is in the hospital due to a car accident yesterday evening. Yes, all kinds of trials surround most of us each and every day but thanks be to God that He assures us that He is there and that the peace of Jesus surpasses all. I can truly relate to thought “B”. I have at times experienced doubt that if God truly exist then why do certain types of tragedy happen, especially to young people, but then I look at myself and see where I am today and when I think about what I could have been without Christ in my life, I cringe. I can truly ascertain that the benefits of believing and establishing a relationship with God though His son, Jesus Christ, have far outweighed the risk of choosing to lead a life without Him! Be encouraged, my brothers and sisters in Christ, a better life awaits all of us on the other side!

  23. Laurielee says:

    I am crying as I write this when I read of all of your hardships and sorrows…How I wish I could gather you all up into a hug! In my soul, I feel that Jesus feels your great sorrows right along with you. He is not distant! He said, ” In this world you will have trouble. But be of good heart, I have overcome the world!”

    a. True. Followers of Christ have about as many health, work, and family issues as anyone. Because I belong to Christ, I think I am able to handle them differently with His help.
    b. Even if it turns out that our faith is not true… This doesn’t even cross my mind.
    c. IMHO, not worthy of thought.
    d. AMEN!!!
    e. Praise God!
    f. not a chance…
    g. My faith is the ONLY thing I’m not embarrassed by.

    I know what it is to lose a beloved sibling…my ‘baby’ sister died of breast cancer at 38…she had six children under 18. She’s not lost, though, but gloriously found!

    May God hold you all safely in the palm of His hand. May you feel the comfort of His loving arms about you today. May you have rest from your pain, and the deep glow of His presence within.

  24. kaliko88 says:

    This is one of those days when the topic hits me like a kick in the gut. I don’t really know what I want more, to comment or to hide. I can’t say that all of those thoughts are even mostly true, though I think I can safely say some of them are not at all true. But, they are at the heart of determining how I deal with what’s going on in my life right now. I’d say more, but I think I’d be way too tempted to break down and whine.

    Uncertain, I think your comment comes very close to how I once felt. But now, it is closer to what my husband is going through, and it is very painful to watch. If I were able to say something to him, maybe someday when he’s ready to listen, it would go something like this. Don’t look at others, whether they call themselves Christian or not, or follow a different faith, because they cannot give you the answers you seek nor make any decisions for you, nor can you change them or direct their actions. Look at Jesus, look at what he said and did, and make that the basis of your decision. And if you decide to follow him, then concentrate on presenting your own picture of Christ. Don’t let others fool you or keep you away.

    Poohpity, I like your thought on our need to get out of God’s way. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw. “If God is your copilot, switch places.”

  25. kaliko88 says:

    Now that I think on it even more, I’d settle temporarily for a consistent faith.

  26. daisymarygoldr says:

    uncertain, I am also touched by your comment. Personally I cannot relate to your struggle, but I do understand your pain of not being able to form relationships. I was also raised in a Christian home and though my father is not a Pastor, he is the equivalent of a million pastors put together. So that should give you some idea about how tough my childhood was. (BTW in my case, childhood existed till the day I got married…and even now, after I have become a mother, my father still checks on the spiritual well-being of me and my family).

    What I don’t understand about you is how did your Christian upbringing affect your ability to make friends? My problem was just the opposite. I had too many friends… and none of them were Christians let alone “saved” because I grew up in a non-Christian country. There were many things I could not do with them because I was saved but that did not in any way hinder our relationships. In fact, I was able to share Christ with them and some of them did get saved.

    Will someone be embarrassed for being the President’s daughter or son? You should feel doubly privileged for being a Pastor’s kid and the child of the King of Kings. Your problem is very perplexing to me and I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers…

  27. daisymarygoldr says:

    Sorry, this is out of topic…but for some reason uncertain’s comment is reminding me of Trying To Trust God’s comment in response to “What Michael Phelps Needed”. Just couldn’t help wondering as to what you think of Michael’s Gold now? Now, that you got to hear about his not so gold-like side. Do you see how the gold of this world are easily prone to lose their luster? Hope you are still trying to trust God, whose commandments are better than pure Gold…

  28. rokdude5 says:

    Ghandi once said that he loves Christianity yet finds it difficult to like Christians. Christians fare no better than non believers in any areas whether it be health or morality or having healthy relationships. if we are sinners then in a strong sense, we are hypocrits.

    However for me, while Im still trying to get the plank out of my eyes, I will continue to look up instead of out and worship the One who is never a hypocrit. At least with Christianity I know what is the goal (love God and thy neighbor) and why I want to achieve it (to please someone who actually WANTS AND LOVES me in spite of my shortcomings). Any thing else is more of “feel good” but I dont have to if I want.

  29. gr8grannyjacobs says:

    uncertain: What words would I say to you of the above named choices to give you encouragement to find the biblical definition of Christianity? I honestly don’t know. I think I would say don’t judge by us as at our best we fail to represent God and His glory. I think I would tell you to simply ask God with a sincere heart. He is the Revealer of Himself. Jesus is the only One who has ever walked on earth in perfection.

    This is what I truly feel I would say but do realize the words may sound accusatory of us who know Christ.At the same time I would want this young man to know that knowing Christ does not make us perfect so don’t look for a perfect person to identify Christianity. Hope I have written this in a way that hurts no ones feelings

  30. Robert Slone says:

    I can relate to a. through g. Having been saved at an early age and raised in a Christian home and taken to a church building every time there was something going on. Looking at people instead of Jesus was my main problem. There are two types of people in this world, sinners and saved sinners. I’m suppose to be living my life like Jesus, not Moses, Peter, Paul, the preacher, my Dad. I looked at people instead of Jesus. I listened to people instead of listening to God.
    My life style became real lacking as far as trying to live according to the way Jesus tells us to strive to live, but I always knew that Jesus was the way when I had moved my life style away from him. I slid down that slippery slope of sin even though I was saved and it has been a rough climb back up and out of that life. I won’t be perfect until I reach heaven and He glorifies me into someone as himself, no more temptation, my body made perfect, and living with Him forever.

  31. bevcattle says:

    Hi Uncertain,
    On reading what you wrote, I can see your struggle with an issue that is troubling you. It is particularly hard when raised by a father who is a Pastor, and all in the household have to put on a good front, even though you and the rest of the family know what is portrayed outside the home is not what goes on inside. This is a picture I’m getting.
    When you say your childhood is not ideal, and that you have seen the reality of Christianity,and that given your experience, how do you tell people your a christian and raised in a christian family, especially to the unbelievers, and so you might or would have to hide that fact, so rather than lying to them you choose not to have friends. I feel your struggling with family issues, that only you know first hand, is What I see through all of your comments, uncertain, is that you feel your life is hypocritical and you are forced to put on a false front. Let me tell you, I was raised in a christian family of believers,very very strict, attended church morning and evening, young peoples groups,attended two sunday schools, and studied in a christian school. I had to look good in peoples eyes, but I wasn’t. My grandfather who was the strict godly one, used to be so rude to my mom, his dtr. and he was such a mean person, but no one knew this,because none of us revealed the truth to anyone about our family, all the elders in church held my granddad in high esteem, thinking what a godly man and family. This is hypocritical, and as young as i was, i knew he was not a good christian man. Today I still have this issue…with my husband, he preaches, and talks and tries to save everyone he speaks to, but…he still has an anger problem, abusive both physically sometimes and verbal, only now as of the last 5 months, I have said to myself enough is enough, i am going to let everyone know what really goes on in the house, since all our church members see us as a wonderful christian couple, now my son who is 23 says to us, don’t preach to me or force me to go to church, when you guys are such hypocrites. Now my husband is seeking counsel and is doing much better, but you see for a long long time we kids who grow up in christian households seem to take on a burden of having to show people we are perfect christians, and are afraid for them to find out we are not, and then they might say rude things as expected. What I learn’t is to be yourself, tell the truth, and say to the friends you meet, yes I am a christian, home schooled, and raised with christian values, but I am far from perfect, I am still learning, and one day God will make me a near perfect christian, everyone knows the struggle is greater for a Pastor and his family, than anyone else’s since the evil one is at work even harder to destroy them, just last week we saw the news in the US (I live in Canada)about that pastor,CNN, so just imagine what his son is going through, but God is good, He alone will help you, He already knows your struggle, take it to the Lord in prayer. I will also keep you in my prayers, this is a great network of people we have here, and a great way to communicate and we all prayer for each other. I read been thinking about everyday but rarely comment, as I don’t know my password,and not sure if I can make my own that I can remember rather than the one given to me. I have to keep asking for one each time.
    God bless you, keep praying and reading your Bible, and God will direct you to a passage/s that reveals to you what He wants you to know, this is how He revealed to me my answers, and that was confirmation for me to go about doing the things I had to do, to make our lives better, and we are now on the road to recovery, but it will always be a struggle, nothing will be perfect, just keep praying.

  32. uncertain says:

    Hi, everyone,

    Just wanted to thank you all for your concern! I really appreciate all your comments.

    If I did not struggle with personal injuries from my experience, I think I could probably overlook what Christians do, and just focus on the biblical portrayal of Christ.

    kaliko88 and cherielyn: it seems like you can relate to some areas of my experience.

    bevcattle: I’m sorry about your experience with your husband and grandfather; you probably came closest to describing some of how I feel.

    daisymarygoldr: in response to your question, the relationship issue is hard to explain; my experience is kind of complex.

  33. Jumblee2855 says:

    Laurielee, your comments are very comforting. Thank you for the hug. God bless you.

  34. sitsathisfeet says:

    Hi Everyone I want to thank you again for the prayers, and I can’t express how much the related experinces on the blog have helped me. I think Matt is faithful and courageous even in his doubt, and supported by you his father speaks so much to me. Well, I am divorced now. I never wanted to be, and have experienced such a myriad of emotions through the whole thing. We separated, tried to reconcile, separated again, and finally after the last separation of eight months it is final. I feel I disappointed the Lord, who has given me so much. I know I tried my best, with the Lord’s enabling and counsel, but am still disappointed in the results. There are two things that come to mind. One is when the prophet Hosea married the prostitute, who was representitive of Israel’s unfaithfulness. He had to go bring her back when she returned to her former life after they were married. She came and submitted again to the marriage. But what if she did not come, what if she was hard-hearted and would not return? I was thinking of that in relation to my exhusband’s hard-heartedness and that he wanted the divorce really from the beginning, because the marriage was no longer advantageous to him. So, then I could look at the divorce as God’s protection, a way out of being further hurt, and His provision. The second thought I had was that Satan is really out to destroy marriage, especially Godly or God-based marriages because it is a model of Christ’s marriage to us the church. And this is on top of our natural flesh desires, and worldly things in opposition to this marriage (and the Spirit). I guess it’s pretty deep when you think of it that way. I still counsel the young women of our church to get right with God, and then do everything possible within their means to reconcile their marriage. Then leave it in God’s hands, and he will let them know if it is a time to let it go. BTW my ex-husband I found out was not a born again believer (10 years), and my church said they did not believe in divorce, except in the case of abuse, which there was. And yet even that could have been healed, given willingness, time and effort, and I am left wondering if it will be now. I know with God anything is possible, but I feel especially bad that my little one had to suffer that. And I’m not through yet Wed is the scheduled hearing for support, which he doesn’t want to pay anything. I know in any case the Lord will provide, so I do what I can and then leave it in the Lord’s hands. God Bless You All. P.S. Steve, haven’t talked to my friends about possible online for Matt, but will try again later this week. Janice

  35. echrisley says:

    I have very much enjoyed each and everyones post on this subject! Mart, the letter “d” fits into my realm of thinking best. I love the personal stories of each of these posts and getting a realization of God at work in all of our lives! We have all been through such trials within our family and I know that God had reasons for every single bad thing that happened. As painful as it was, somehow I was conforted in knowing that God had his reasons. Looking back over my life and seeing His hand in it brings me to my knees.
    Had I not experienced the “chastening” of the Lord I would not have grown in my faith. I wouldn’t trade those bitter experiences that Jesus saw me through for anything the world has to offer. He taught me so very much and we will never stop learning and growning. I am sure you all can relate.

    Steve, your posts reaches my heart with such inspiration that it is difficult for me to articulate.
    Daisy, Janice, Laurielee, Pooh, drkennyg, Jumblee, love to you all. My wish is that we could all be together face to face. I don’t post very often because I just can’t get used to “cyber” communication. E-mail is nice, however, when I receive a hand written note from people this day and age, I savor it and put it in my box of keep sakes!! No kidding! Sigh.

    Emily

  36. sjd says:

    I appreciated reading your responses and will be praying for those of you struggling so. I appreciate your honesty. If we would be more transparent with one another as believers and with non-believers, we would be so much better off without so much feelings of guilt over the reality of our struggles and questions. Maybe if those in my life had been more open, I would not have struggled so with inadequacy, and been so preoccupied with acceptance. But then I would not have been so dependent on my Lord!

    It is so true that we have to keep our eyes on Jesus rather than the circumstances or people in our lives. It has been our enemies way since the garden. He questioned God’s intention initially. “God doesn’t really care about you. Why would He hold back the tree from your enjoyment? He really doesn’t want what is best for you. If He really loved you He would allow you what you desire. Did He even really say what you thought He said? You can’t trust Him.”

    Today we hear the same. “If God really cared, you wouldn’t be facing a divorce, you wouldn’t become diseased with cancer, your job would be fulfilling. God is holding back from you. He doesn’t really love you. If He did, he would resolve the conflicts, bring healing, and always give fulfillment in this life’s activities. You can’t trust His Word. All you have to do is look around you and see what is going on to give you the answer to whether He is worth trusting.”

    When I start to doubt, it throws up a red flag.

    I must always come back to the Truth. He is also the Way. He is also the Life that we all truly desperately need and desire. He promised the abundant life. It has taken me nearly fifty years, but I am realizing He is the abundant Life that He was speaking about.

    Galatians 2:20 (NASB95)
    20 “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

    So let’s keep helping each other look to Him. It may be me tomorrow looking away.

    Hebrews 12:1-2 (NASB95)
    1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
    2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

  37. daisymarygoldr says:

    uncertain, I’m glad you responded. You are right, I may not be able to understand your struggle but God does. He will certainly heal your injured heart. Don’t worry, no matter how complex the issue is He will perfectly sort it out for you…because He loves you and cares for you very, very much. Be assured that you are not alone …God is always watching over you…ok-a-a-y? Just think and pray about the good practical advice from cherielyn, gr8granny8jacobs, Jumblee2855, kaliko88 and bevcattle. Praying that God will restore His peace within your home and will comfort you and your family…

    Jumblee2855, so sorry to hear about your younger sister. Take comfort in knowing that God her will creator will also take care of her eternal future….
    Laurielee, sorry to hear about your baby sister… It is comforting to know that she died in the Lord and her six children have a wonderful Aunt.
    ttl7praz and bevcattle, Thank you so much for sharing your stories as Pastor’s wives.
    bevcattle, I’m glad you recognize the evil one is at work even harder to destroy Pastors and their families…they are always his chosen targets. Be strengthened to know that through Him you have already overcome the evil one. You and your family are in my prayers…
    sitsathisfeet, you are a great woman of God and He will surely take care of you and your little one. Been praying for you always…
    Emily, thank you and love to you…handwritten, just for you:)
    sjd, after reading all the comments, those were exactly my thoughts… about the enemy planting seeds of doubt. You have summed it up really well!

  38. Jumblee2855 says:

    Thank you echrisley, daisymarygoldr and every one else. Hang in there Uncertain. Don’t give up. Keep praying. The Lord our God will never leave you nor forsake you. He will get you out of your predicament.

  39. bretnb says:

    B. I guess that expresses my thoughts more than any thing.

    I am so far from being the Christian I should be. But one thing I tell people is if I am wrong I have lost nothing. If they are wrong they will lose every thing.

    Thanks I really enjoyed this blog! It said a lot on how so many people think.

  40. Laurielee says:

    sjd, This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear this morning! I’m sure many can read that message and say, “Thank you, God, for leading sjd to tell me what I was praying about!” My beautiful little granddaughter (son’s daughter,6) is heavily on my heart…I’m SO praying for her mother and other grandmother, but I do not want to pray like the pharisee! The other grandmother is a proud pagan (calls herself a card- carrying witch, who says she casts spells) who wears a pentagram always. They almost seem to have a black ooze emanating from them! I know that sounds weird. They are hateful especially to me, as a Christian. My granddaughter’s mother is harassing my son with texts and seems to have a serious mental disturbance. She decides for no reason right before my son is to pick up his daughter for the weekend that she doesn’t want him to have her…and takes pleasure in doing this. BTW, he has a safe and loving household. The happier his household is, the angrier the mother gets.I’m praying that God will surround my granddaughter with a shield from this. We try to have nothing to do with the other family, as it always comes to no good…but the fingers of evil try to seep through. I don’t worry about the grandmother’s “spells”, as the One who is in me is greater…I particularly offended the other grandmother when I asked her to please examine her faith, when she was afraid of dying awhile back. When I pray for their hearts to be changed, I pray for mine to be right, too. Thanks for letting me tell you all this. Please pray for them and my “Corah”.

  41. SFDBWV says:

    Uncertain, As a father my instincts go straight to try and aid in your multitude of struggles. I do wish we could set and have a nice talk. You would be impressed with my son and encouraged by him. He has an infectious smile that immediatly causes you to relax and feel welcome.

    As i read your thoughts, the first thought that comes to my mind is your “ID” “Uncertain”. What is it that you are uncertain of?

    Are you unsure of all that is said in the Word? Unsure that what Jesus said is true? Unsure of your faith?

    Or is it that you are dissapointed in what you have experianced in life as a Christian?

    You are young, and with that comes it’s own set of problems. But you are already showing wisdom, not by questioning the validity of Christ but by looking for a deeper understanding.

    The truth is always the best direction to take. Take no concern for people who will not be your friend unless you cease being you and become what they want you to be. Just be yourself, and the friends you make will like and love you for who you are. Not for who you are not.

    The time for you has come to no longer blame your life on your parents and your childhood and start building your own individuality. And to learn not to judge all of Christianity on the experiance you have witnessed. Your own relationship with God is your own. Very personal.

    You have read whereas many of us were brought up in Christian homes but didn’t realy get “Born Again” until later in their lives. You have a struggle but you need not struggle alone. Christ is always with you. If you let His nature show through you, you will attract the right kinds of relationships.

    Be true to yourself, and the truth will set you free.

    Matt’s Father
    Steve

  42. soloyo says:

    The more I read, the more faith I could get, if I really read looking for God’s meaning, for God’s mind. Yes, in the middle of big pain, we have two choices, to lack in faith givin down ourselves just to cry and cry (just being some selfish), or look the only hand could help: God’s. By this, I consider myself, I’m the kind who needs somebody by me to help, and it’s great how God provides, also I know how others would need me to be strong in faith when they’re in need. just like when mom die, who would say other she’s in Heaven but who really know it? Yes, indeed, a friend told me, “I would like to have that peace you have, for my mom’s death, I can’t even think about that day when she will die, I feel I would too”. So, I knew this was one of many for God strengthen my faith, writting in internet I share the Gospel to her, she believed, she got God’s peace, she was able to understand where peace comes from. As she did, many more had at mom’s funeral.
    It’s not easy to go through, if you don’t have faith, even you feel you’re recovering, when something more comes. I said to God, I don’t want even to read since I was hurted so deep, but I don’t want to let you out of my life, because all my life depends on you, there’s nothing out. And He lead me to read every morning, ease my pain each time.
    I know, somebody will need the same words I got from God in a similar situation, faith is all we have to grow for really live. Thanks God for your life, Mart, Steve, and all fellows.

    Pooh, do you ‘steel’ love me? he he!
    Pray 4 you, my friend.

  43. t.elliott says:

    Even if we aren’t better than others (by choice or personal failure), we are better off, because we have entrusted ourselves to One who suffered, died, and rose again for our rescue? (Romans 7:14-8:1)

    But we are better off aren’t we? One of my pastor’s big things is the despisement of escapism. Escapism is idea that we are saved only to escape hell. I personally fear hell enough to be glad that I’ll escape it but my pastor has a point. We have been given so much and yet we utilize so little. It grieves me to see people act as though they are being humble when they don’t expect anything from God. As if God is put out by blessing us.

    Psalm 35:27
    The LORD be magnified,Who delights in the prosperity of His servant.

  44. SFDBWV says:

    Laurielee, We will agree together that little Corah be placed in the sphere of God’s protection and safe in His arms.

    Your son has a struggle but nothing is impossible with God. He will make a way.

    We will also pray for the eyes and hearts of Corah’s mother and grandmother to be changed that they too become filled with Christ’s Holy Spirit.

  45. wjb says:

    I remember getting ready for church one morning and I was watching a pastor preaching. He was telling the congregation that when you let Christ into your life, you pick up the cross. Some years later, my own pastor was opening up the doors of the church for people to give their lives to Christ, and he told one young man as he walked down the aisle that it would not always be easy. I can identify with letters, a,d and e. Following Christ may not be easy, but it is certainly worth it.

  46. TommyO says:

    Couldn’t make it without the Lord in my life. He covers and guides everything. Life has definitely been better and very promising in my/our 12+ years of being Saved. Now, if we can just have Rapture happen, all will be well, and real Peace will be finally found.

  47. poohpity says:

    soloyo,
    You bet I steel love you. I am not able to sit by the computer for long periods so I am not blogging much.

    When I do sit here and read it feels like home. Everyone has such wonderful things to say even in our doubt. God is much bigger than anything we can ever feel or think. He meets us, His children, wherever and whenever we are open to listen to Him. In anger, doubt, heartache, pain, loneliness and any affliction. He will bring someone to walk along side us with skin on to give His comfort and love. There are times when He just does it without any human interference. Our God is much bigger and majestic than we can ever imagine and He doesn’t walk anyway from us we are the ones who walk away from the comfort and protection of His wings of Glory but our place there beneath them is always there to return to.

    sitathisfeet,
    I am still praying for protection and provision. Honey no matter what happens God will provide for you and you little ones. I love you, Deborah

  48. carlj says:

    This topic leads me to think through the disillusionment that a lot of us have experienced. As believers we were expected to give a party line message that everything is okay in our lives even though things at the time are falling apart. For years, I had accepted that the theme of the book of Job was “Why Do the Good Suffer?”. I have since come to think that the theme is, “It is not about us… it is about God”. And as a result of the message received from studying Job’s life, our suffering should be seen as a witness not only to God’s sovereignty but also as a witness to God’s goodness, justice, grace and love to an unbelieving world. Not only does this thinking fly right into the face of those preaching a prosperity gospel but it also reminds us that comparing ourselves with others robs us of contentment.

  49. pegramsdell says:

    Amen carlj!

  50. joyvernon says:

    a, b and e resonated for me. Being born in a Christian family (Catholic) who were ardent church goers we were baptised,confirmed,etc. as children and taught about faith. Fast forward to today at 68 years old,I have an unshakable faith in God’s Plan, and totally accept Divine order/intervention in my life experiences. I relinquished Catholicism 45 years ago when I came to the USA and began searching for more than they could offer. I attended a non-denominational church in NY for 35 years where my faith developed tremendously by focusing on God’s presence in my life experiences. I have been attending a “denominational” church here in Delaware for the past 5 years, but RBC’s Daily Bread along with Unity’s Daily Word feeds my soul on a daily basis. Their books which they offer have helped me more than any organized denomination to build my faith and find peace in the midst of chaos at times. I still have a journey to go but my faith in the Divine One keeps me strong and overcomes the doubts which are inevitable.

  51. Sybil Skakle says:

    God does not promise that we will be exempt from the hardships that are part of our humanity. I agree with (b). There have been times when I’ve felt tempted to give up following Christ. I’ve doubted. However, when I’ve examined the alternative, life without faith and belief in God’s love for me, I realize like Peter did, that there is nowhere else I can go. It is Jesus who gives us the “words that life.” Putting myself under His loving care and authority is the very best place I can hope to have in this life and I have the hope of Eternal life, as well. Sincerely, Sybil Skakle

  52. bevcattle says:

    Laurielee: take comfort in the thought God loves little children, they are His. and God hears the prayers of a believing grandmother, and no matter what granny witch might like to do, no harm will come to little Corah, as she is protected by the blood of Jesus. Always prayer the blood of Jesus over your son and granddtr. I too will pray for your dtr-in-law and her mother, they need to get saved before the magic turns on them and it’s too late.
    I bet it must be scarry,to think the least, but this is where God proves again He rules the world.
    Uncertain: you had so much support yesterday that was beautiful,I just know what you are going through is deeper than meets the eye, have no fear, have no doubt, have no anger, because whatever has happened or happening is not because of you, you are your own person if that makes sense. when we stand before God we stand alone, and we will not see our loved ones standing beside us when we are judged, each will be judged alone. So don’t carry any guilt or burden. Find a christian counselor,the Bible says go to the elders of the church, in this day and age we have many resources that can help us. Even RBC has good counselors. These are the best years of your life, so much to look forward to, email Mart, and he will help you come to terms with whatever it is that is bothering you so much, or even Steve…Matts dad, a wonderful beacon of hope and faith, a great father and role model. Cheer up Uncertain, you are much much loved, no matter what, God loves you, you are His first and only on loan to your family. Take care.

  53. Mauipat44 says:

    Aloha from Maui..
    I’ve been a Christian for some 37 yrs now. I am almost 52 years old. I asked God for help when I was very young 5-7 yrs old, because I was always scared of the dark and felt there was a spiritual war even back then against good and bad. I had the oppertunity of asking Jesus Christ into my life when I was 15 1/2 years old at the original Calvery Chapel tent when it was first starting up. I’ve had alot of up’s and down’s not because of Jesus but because of me. I remember how I felt when I was 1st saved, I wanted to Tell Everyone about the Love and Forgiveness we could have in asking Jesus Christ into our hearts and the Freedom he had given me. No more Guilt, No more Condimnation…a feeling of Happiness and Joy Filled my Heart. I am now Closer to “Abba” Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit than I’ve ever felt. Why? Because, Through God’s Grace & Mercy He has made me a “Joint Heir” in God’s Kingdom and Everyone who has asked Him into their Heart!
    The time is coming and getting shorter for the Lord’s Return…As Christians, We Need to Come Back to our “First Love” and remember how we felt when we first got Saved! “God is Calling” for us to Return to him in the Christian Community..It’s Time for us all to GET RIGHT WITH GOD. I pray all who read this think about it and Read Roman’s Eighth Chapter..Also Those who donot know Christ Read: Romans chapeter 10 Verse 9. A
    May our God continue to Bless you and keep you in Chris Jesus our Lord..

  54. chick2 says:

    Thank you, Mart, for posing this thought. I have enjoyed the responses that have been given. In answer to your question, I would need an “all the above” selection. Because at some point in my 55 years of life, I would have to say I have experienced them all. However, at this time, I am having to “become what I believe” as my pastor teaches. You see, I have two sons, 25 & 20 yrs. old that were brought up in church. Attended all that was offered in respect to their age as they grew up. We saw them accept the Lord and get baptized. They went to youth camps, youth revivals, True Love Waits and anything else that “training them in the way they should go” would represent. As of this writing, neither are serving the Lord and I believe “True Love Waits” didn’t. As a matter of fact, my youngest believes he is an atheist. Wow…what a heart-breaker. But I am going to stand on God’s promises and trust Him. I found two quotes the other day that I have taken to heart. One says “when I let go of the things that I can see, God will release the things I can’t see.” And the other is “I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn’t, than to live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.”(ALBERT CAMUS) Blessings to you all as we journey together.

  55. newius says:

    I know its a little late to be posting in a post that is a few days old. Have always been reading and not posting but going through the comments made me wanna post.

    Like some here, I also grew up(still growing though since I still live in my parent’s house) in a very Christian(if you allow me to use the word) household. Father is an elder of the church, my mother has been teaching sunday school since I was young and now have moved onto the pre-school ministry and my sister is involved with the church newsletter.

    For myself, I have been in the youth group sub com, been through the sunday school system and even taught in it. Contributed to the last few church camps and if you would allow me to add, visited RBC in my country and did a little project(if you can call it) with them a few years ago. All so nice it seems doesn’t it. But one thing I struggle alot is putting on the everything is ok face and is all so much harder when things go wrong, especially now.

    I committed myself to a christian organization for 6 months after finishing my degree in july last year. Decided that I would still want to continue serving in this ministry as a volunteer and that the job I want to get would have stable working hours so that I have time to serve.

    Its only the third day since I joined the rest of the job hunters when the economy is in a bad state and to be honest, I am feeling very down having one job application rejected (and it was one that would allow me time to do ministry) and it seems like finding a job with will allow me to continue serving is no where in sight. The worst part came when I met up with a classmate of mine who told me that some of our other classmates who found a job just after they grad are doing well. And add heart broken twice in the same year to which some part of me still wonder why did it have to happen to me. I think you can call my current stage of life anything but peaceful.

    *Yup I think that about explains my frustration in some sense*

    I really wonder how long I can put on this “everything will be alright” face when I meet up with friends in church and especially friends who have not yet known Christ. The struggle is how can I not scare them off from being Christian.

    But tonight(yup its 12:56am on this side of the world) I guess I can sleep a bit better thanks to the comments here that remind me that in the end I still have the one who gave His life to save me.

    I dun think the pain will go away tmr or even after I had my time to “talk” with God later before I sleep. As one who takes longer to get over things, I dun think it will even be over before I find a job. Or at least I dun think everything will be right in the world for me.

    But I know I can face tomorrow because I know who holds my hand.

    Thanks for reading this long long comment. =]

  56. newius says:

    Left out something: Thanks to all who posted encouraging things about their lives and how no matter how bad things are, that they can still carry on cos of the faith they have.

    Really made me sit up and think harder about my own life.

    =]

  57. Mauipat44 says:

    God Bless you “newius”..
    My prayer for you right now is: :That the Lord can suppy all your needs acording to all of his Riches and Glory in Christ Jesus”. Lord Jesus, I just pray right now that you would suppy this man the perfect job. You say in your word, “we donot have because we donot ask” but, when asking we must Believe that you are a God that rewards those that seek him” So, I am praying with newius that you would supply him with a job that would fit his schedule to allow him to minister and also have time for fellowship with his friends and would also provide the income he desperately needs to continue on.. Thank You Lord Jesus..We Praise you for anwsering this prayer..
    Newius…Please let us know in the coming days how things are going..God Bless you..Mauipat44 Pat Young

  58. soloyo says:

    Laurielee, I just read your post about Corah, and I remember, about a woman near me who tried all esoteric stuff she could borrow, even when she became christian, she kept a witchcraft book “if she would need one day”, all this stuff divide homes, I’ve seen again and again. but you can gather in your heart so much bad feelings about them, even when you don’t know it. so, come to Jesus and tell Him, if there would be something bad in your heart, ask Him to make you forgive, because people do not start to change heart hardness if you don’t start to forgive, that’s all God expect from you, and to learn to wait in Him.

    My father said about his father, that was so so witless, but a pastor who wanted his salvation was so smart and lovely, he never started a discussion, but since my grandfather was a tailor, he ask him to make him a suit, so time after time he came to see him, he had the oportunity to show himself lovely. One day, my gf accept to go with him to preach to a park, then a man spit at pastor’s face, and while my gf was preparing for fight, the pastor took his handkerchief,clean his face and kept preaching. that was amazing for my gf, so he said: I do want what you have!
    My father assures that love gain his father for Christ. I’m not telling you to be nice when you don’t want, just to pray God not to have anything in your heart to pray for them, His love will show through your life itself.

  59. newius says:

    Mauipat44, thanks for praying. Thankfully I am not desperate for income yet and my parents are understanding about me not getting a job so soon. But I guess as the oldest son, its about time to start contributing back to the family.

    So far the most encouraging thing I got was a call from a recruitment agency so hopefully I can get a call next week for an interview and hope things go well.

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