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The Cold Dark Side of Christmas

Photo by: Mike Baird

More than a few of us know that some of the coldest, darkest times of our lives have been spent under the lights of Christmas– surrounded by the warmth of others singing Joy to the world.

Recalling those moments, we might wonder why the lights, sounds, and good will of the happiest time of the year didn’t melt the ice that felt like ours’ alone.  Why couldn’t the music of the King of kings– with us, to share our weakness, and eventually to bear our guilt—win the day—or at the very least, the moment?

Because those memories, and questions, have a way of resurfacing at this time of the year, it may be worth talking about. Even more importantly, it may be important to remember that the journey to a feed trough we now call the manger didn’t always feel good to Mary and Joseph—even as the King of kings was being “formed” in her.

If these thoughts are touching the dark, cold, side of the holiday season in you… you are not alone… in more ways than one.

Mary wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn (Luke 2:7).


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44 Responses to “The Cold Dark Side of Christmas”

  1. Bob in Cornwall England says:

    Not quite sure what you are meaning Mart, but I always disliked this time of year, even as a small child.
    I hated the attention and all the emotional stuff and used to scream allot.
    Also now I find it difficult because I have very little money to spare and sit in my flat often in woolly hats and heavy socks just to keep warm.
    I was quite well off in the past and I really appreciate this lean time that the Lord has given me. I now know exactly the anguish single mums and dads and people with low incomes feel at this time of year. Demands from children and friends to join in the “fun” and games when, in reality all you want is to get to January 1st in one piece and with a wallet that contains some left over cash.
    Easter is my time of year. Mainly because I was born in May and love the spring flowers and trees, but also because Jesus told us to remember His death until He comes. So it really is the only true Christian festival and should really always fall at Passover.
    Christmas is really just the christianisation of the old Roman mid winter fest and still contains allot of those original pagan traditions.
    Maybe that is why the world finds it so easy to ignore our “christian” tilt on the season.

    Bob

  2. SFDBWV says:

    I have spent lots of unhappy Christmas’s. I can enjoy the music even smile, but that doesn’t mean I am happy or joyous.

    The world is a cold cruel place, and Mary and Joseph knew that very well. Yet They were at least provided with an animals shelter to be able to be out of the wind and night…where the King of Kings gave up His royal position to be born into a world of pain.

    To remember the story of the birth of Christ,is enlightening and part of our knowledge base concerning His time on earth. It is not the center point of my Faith.

    I have read accounts that place the actual date of Jesus’s birth somewhere about the last week of September. It was Emperor Constantine that placed it on the calander as we celebrate it today.

    I think it is great that Christ gets all the attention, that surrounds *Christ-Mass* but it has become an entirely different celebration.

    I have not put up a tree since my son was injured, nor decorated the outside of my house. It is not because I am anti Christmas, it is too much added work and stress to do so.

    A couple years ago a friend of Matt gave him a nice wreath, which we put up in the house, and since Glenna has joined us, we put a wreath up at our door, but we also put out a fall wreath a spring wreath and a summer wreath.

    Two of Matthews friends come, at our urging, and bring their families sometime over the holidays so that Matt can give them gifts, and feel like he is part of the season.

    Other than that, life is not that much different than any other time of the year.

    I celebrate Christ in me every day all day, I celebrate, need and lean heavily on Him constantly. I cannot imagine life without Christ carrying my burdens, and giving me hope….Life without Christ to me is the darkest of all places

    Steve

  3. poetlene says:

    I too am having a hard time getting into all of the hoopla of santa claus christmas. I find myself just immersing myself in the gospels telling of Christ’s birth to anchor myself. I have grandchildren so I feel obligated to “do” something about the “gift thing” so I’m sure I will. I also enjoy Easter and the fulfillment of every Christian’s real hope. God bless you, Mr. De Haan and Bob.

  4. foreverblessed says:

    THis year I am very much looking forward to Christmas, the singing of the Hallelujah choir in Philadelfia did help.
    We are singing like the angels did, in Luke 2, singing for our King of Kings, who is also our Redeemer.
    As a child I was not raised with Christmas, our church considered it as a pagan holiday. So my memories of Christmas was always with mixed feelings.
    Now I believe that God is pleased when we give a Festival in honor of Him, whatever day it is.
    He enjoyes it when we sing praise to Him, not only in singing but also in deeds reaching out to others, to there where there is a need.
    In my home town the chruches helpt together is having a house for the lonely, for 2 weeks it is open. People who are alone can eat dinner at christmas and new years eve time.
    A friend of mine was part of the organisation.
    How much we could do together as christians in outreach.

  5. foreverblessed says:

    Steve, your response had not yet shown when I posted, but I agree with you. Part of the problem is that too much focus is put on that one day, Christmas, while all days are in honor of Jesus. December 25 is not a Holy Day, Jesus is Holy, God is Holy.
    I have a book about the christian church developing in Ireland at the time of St Patrick, mainly through his efford. The church in England and Ireland did have different dates for the christian festivals. Easter was kept on a different date too. But the church in Rome wanted to have the pre-eminence, and demanded, even forced their date on the rest of the christian community. While Paul instructed us in his letters that we leave each other free in whatever day we want to keep, even if we decide not to keep a day:
    Romans 14:5-9
    One person considers one day more sacred than another; ANOTHER CONSIDERS EVERY DAY ALIKE. Each one should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

    But I do not know whether knowing this will make people feel less lonely while they think everybody is having a great time, having dinner together.
    I pray that they will meet Jesus, there Friend, who is always at their side, always has been, and always will be.

  6. JediKnight4Him says:

    Well the christmas story looks like something straight out of the X-Files. Such a strange way to save the world…..but I’m so glad he did! :)

  7. Charis says:

    I had an alcoholic father and with the uptick of drinking around the holidays came an uptick in chaos and fear at home. Around Christmas, I can’t help but remember children who are in alcoholic homes. My own husband gave up drinking to save our marriage- but only in September- and with some job uncertainties and the stresses of Christmas, I have some fear which I don’t voice.

    Indeed, its a hard time of year for some of us. . .

  8. SFDBWV says:

    Christmas memories,

    I spent Christmas of 1966,and 1967 in Viet Nam, but then I spent Christmas of 1968 in Viegas Island in the Carribean…practicing what I had already become proficient at. So it kind of ballanced out.

    Woking my first Christmas out of the Marines and in the working world, in a power plant…no choice of whether to work or not…1969

    Working in the coal industry means that they normally lay you off for Christmas….So there would be the start of a long cold winter and have to be looking for work, usually down the road away from home.

    Having Children makes one, more into the Santa Claus aspect of the holiday…making sure they get gifts and have all the excitement of a Norman Rockwell Christmas morning.

    Added stress and added debt.

    Christmas of 1980, my 17 year old niece was struck by an auto and killed on December 21st…

    A sad memory for her sisters and brothers and parents, the remainder of their lives.

    Now…Christmas is under attack from an atheistic politicaly correct minority of whiners…who want to make the celebration of the birth of Christ illegal to celebrate officialy, at all.

    More stress, and now anger added to the season.

    The one thing, is that through all the smoke, we get to tell people about Jesus, an opportunity to explain *who* all the fuss is about…Any chance to open up the conversation to present the Gospel is a good event.

    Would like for people to put as much energy into being nice to others all the rest of the year…

    Steve
    PS I have no idea why my first comment was held up for moderation before being posted???

  9. BruceC says:

    My wife and I aren’t having decorations this year. That isn’t what the “holiday” is about anyway. Just too much going on this year. The “holiday” has turned into a materialistic orgy of spending and getting from others. Heard David Jeremiah say that isn’t it odd that the people that don’t believe in Christ go into debt celebrating His birth. I see in my wife’s family and mine that “what-did-you-get-for-me” attitude and I get really disgusted. We used to go to her sisters house Christmas Eve but haven’t gone in years. The last time anyone in our families stopped by on Christmas was years ago when her other sister came over with the kids because we had gifts for them and mom and dad had recently split up. Since then, nada.
    So we stay home alone and reflect on the Real Meaning of the day.

    BruceC
    Soli Deo Gloria!

  10. oneg2dblu says:

    Why we don’t like to be “Celebrated Christians” in a world that cannot tolerate “Anything Christ, is really
    a shame. Certainly the Birth of OUR LORD should be a Glorious Season for any Christ Follower.Even if the technical date may be something other, this should be
    another reason to share what the Lord has done for Us, and “lighting our world” is one of the ways to show it!
    Be Salt AND Light!
    But, if we don’t feel like it, we can’t show it?
    This means that our feelings have more impact on our worldly living, than Christ has had on Our Spiritual
    Being! Why let our emotions rule, and remain dark during our “celebrated perio”d of remebered suffering?
    The Joy of the Lord should for outweight our darkened emotions that we carry around because Our Expected or Actual Needs were damaged by something in this Darkened World.
    I believe Satan loves to see “Defeeted Christians”
    who are not walking the walk or talking the talk, that do not rise above their circumstances,but prefere to allow tainted emotion from the past or present, to take away our joy. We should all pray to Our Lord to give us what the rest of the world does not understand, and
    truly enjoy all that this Season can bring to us,
    that it cannot produce in the worldly!!
    Joy in the Lord is greater than our pain in the past or present, if “we together with Christ” allow it to come to fruition.Be Blessed,and not stay depressed, for Our Lord was Born and Lives in Us, regardless of howe feel!
    God can break “our ritual of pain and darkness” that we choose to display. My Prayer is that we can Break Out of the old self, and come into the celebratory birth of Our Master, and truly Rejoyce in this Season.
    It will bring Joy to your Soul!
    Remember the Reason and Enjoy the Season!!
    Sorry if this offends us, but sometimes the truth is tough medicine, we are to Overcome the darkened circumstances that this world has given us!
    I also have fallen into this trap of Satan, and “my house” has been darkened by it, but I’m putting up the lights tonight, May God let them Shine Brightly for Him!
    Thanks to all who posted, for you have given me a reason to overcome.
    Be Blessed, GWW

  11. poohpity says:

    There was a lot of reason for it to be a cold dark time during the circumstances that lead up to our Saviors birth and after. A single young woman in those days who found out from a being that she was overcome by the Holy Spirit and would conceive a child. Then her betrothed wrestled with having a pregnant woman that his seed was not the reason for the condition of her womb and the talk from all those who had no idea what was happening I imagine was treacherous. Then to have to travel on the back of a donkey many miles to register for taxes during the last days of her pregnancy only a women can know the burden of that. Then having no family or a prepared place to give birth I bet seemed overwhelming to Mary especially. Expectations totally fallen when in fact if what the angel had told her that she would bare Immanuel (God with us) why wouldn’t everything be glorious.

    God never promised us a life without trials, troubles and tribulations in fact He guaranteed us that there certainly would be those things especially for those who follow Him there would be more. He did promise us that He would be with us during those times and that we could rejoice in them because we believe in Him and he has overcome the world. So the Cold Dark Side of Christmas turns into JOY because this one born into all this turmoil cared so much for us that he uses all the trails, troubles and tribulations to help us grow and come closer to God if we do not harden our hearts.

    To tell someone that they should, or could or would feel anyway but the way they feel is to tell them not to be honest about what they are going through. We live in a fallen world and we are fallen people who just so happen to KNOW the Love of God in a way that might bring a smile to our faces realizing that someone loved us so much that He laid down His very Deity to travel this journey to empathize with us. His final days to suffer a horrible death not to say that His life was without suffering, trails and troubles.

    There is so much Cold and Dark but we know the warm Light and guess what we are given everyday of the year to believe in the One who was born to Die. “Jesus Is The Gift”.

    I truly believe if we live with no expectations of ourselves or others during this season other than what it truly is then we will not be let down and with the attitude of gratitude for everything that comes into our lives then we can experience the Joy and Peace that surpasses our circumstance and our understanding.

  12. Bob in Cornwall England says:

    From the outset of this subject I thought it would come across as rather depressing, but I can see alot of hope and truth in what has been said above.

    From what Steve and Foreverblessed have said, it seems that every day and any day is a day to celebrate the birth,life and death of Jesus, let alone the resurrectionion and new life we have in Him and restoration with our Father.
    I know in my own circumstances this is one of the bleakest Christmasses I have ever faced and am sure there are many in even worse places.

    I want to echo Steves words and say them as a prayer….

    “I (want to) celebrate Christ in me every day all day, I (want to) celebrate, need and lean heavily on Him constantly. I cannot imagine life without Christ carrying my burdens, and giving me hope….Life without Christ to me is the darkest of all places.

    Solomon came to understand that life without God was shear folly and foolishness and had no meaning.
    As oneg2dblu said, we need to shine our light even when circumstances and feelings make us want to sit in darkness. I was in Truro today and lit a candle in the cathedral and said a little prayer, not something I would normally do, but it made me feel better and brought a little bit of light into this dark world.

    Bob

  13. chaim18 says:

    Pardon the insight of a newcomer to this forum, but my childhood memories of Christmas were very different as I was raised Jewish and this was always “their holiday”. I simply accepted the minority position of living in a Gentile world and gladly accepted getting 8 presents, one for each of the nights of Chanukah while we celebrated the great miracles that God had performed for us, His chosen people. Once I got saved, some 30 years ago, I got a new appreciation for the season. As a child, though, there was always confusion between the two Christian figures who went around doing wonderful deeds for others unselfishly … Jesus and Santa. Now, my wife and I have raised our children to embrace the best of both worlds. We have always had a small Christmas tree and we read the Christmas Story when we initially light it; we also light the menorah and read the story of The Miracle of the Maccabees and the Miracle of the Oil lasting 8 days … and God gets the glory on both occasions. It is only when the tradition exists without the explanation of its genesis that the holidays lose their meaning. And a reminder to those who are suffering through “dark days”: God is still in the miracle business.

    Howard in Omaha

  14. davids says:

    Yes, dark Christmasses I have known, especially before accepting our Lord into my life. Working, lonely, and even dire. I know there are many who are living with that today.

    Ok, this isn’t the real date of the birth – or even close. In Roman times it was a solstice celebration, and in days before food preservation, it was a feast to eat up the last of the harvest before the dark, cold, hungry days of winter. No, there were probably not three magi, and they were not kings anyway.

    But sorry to be a party un-pooper. As ForeverBlessed knows, in much of the “old world”, gifts do not arrive so much at Christmas. In many places Saint Nicholas arrives on December 6. The children have their gifts, and Christmas comes next as a celebration apart.

    In our church, the Advent season begins with the “Hanging of the Greens” to decorate, and an Advent workshop when children make ornaments, wrapping paper, candles, or other decorations and gifts. Each Sunday of Advent is marked in a special way.

    I love to see the Christmas lights here in Northern Europe where the days are short. (Not the Santa displays of the US.) So I put up lights, hoping that others will also enjoy them.

    Last year I tried something new. I took my children shopping for gifts. One for the grandparents, another for an aunt, and another for an uncle. I was surprised how much they loved the joy of giving as much as the pleasure of receiving.

    And, hey, I love the songs!

    David

  15. davids says:

    I hope that everyone has seen the series “A Christmas Journey to Freedom”. I can’t include the link here, but just scroll up to the top of the page, and look in the right column under RBC Ministries.

    Click on “Day of Discovery”. It is currently featured there. It is a wonderfully made reminder of how the stories of Moses and Jesus gave comfort to people in the hardest of times.

    And the music is fantastic!

  16. marma says:

    When I was eight, my father died, the next Christmas, so did Santa. I think I must have weeped every Christmas for the next three years at least. Not sure when I stopped. We went to candlelight service, which I usually loved, even though I wasn’t a Christian.

    When I became a Christian, I though great, now Christmas will have real meaning. But then my Christian friends pointed out the pagan side (to the extreme).

    Later, I regained Christmas, celebrating Christ’s birth with my sister, enjoying the songs and trappings, too.

    As the years passed, we’ve had some traumatic Christmases, like when my brother decided to go off his meds, or when my Mom was in and out of the hospital for heart problems. Hurts seem deeper during the holidays, maybe, as someone said, because of our expectations.

    I think my expectations have changed. I’m not sure what they are, now, except that I want Christ to be honored in our home during Christmas when a small part of my family comes over. I think the best way to honor Him is to take on the role of a servant, as He did when on earth. That’s what I’m praying.

  17. marma says:

    Lord, help us all to be servants and to let your light shine forth, so that men and women may glorify you on the day. Amen

  18. foreverblessed says:

    Marma, I like your comment of the best way to Honor Jesus is to take on the role of a servant: for women that is not so difficult, as there is a lot of serving to be done: the dinner cooking the dinner serving. Serving to honor Christ.
    This has been my goal in my household chores for sveral years now, but the idea gets often forgotten. And life turns into dull drum again.
    A feast dinner as Christmas is a good idea to make the theme new and alive again.

  19. foreverblessed says:

    Yes David, in the Netherlands we do not have th gift thing at Christmas, we have a suprise party at the evenig of December 5. Normally you do not have gifts for the whole family, but we have a lottery, a a basket with all the names of the family members, and you pick out a name, and that is the one person for whom you make a suprise gift:
    You make something yourself, write a poem about the person, and buy a small gift. And then there is an evening of games together, giving the “suprise” which is always fun as everyone has their own imagination. Like if a child loves bunnuies, you make a big bunny out of papier mache, you hide a little gift in it, and then write a poem about the child, and the bunny.
    Anyway, it was always fun, and my children were busy with making these gift for more then a month. instead of gaming on the computer or watching tv.
    There is a downside, and that is for those who are not creative and are having a terrible time thinking about an idea of what to make, trying to make something. Like my husband, he hated these things. And dreaded the days appraoching the Sinterklaas period. While his sisters making beautifull things, and his was a bit … he even would be ashamed about his suprise gifts.
    So we would have a surpise party with our kids and other family, he would not make anything, he would serve everybody with drinks and food.

    But that is life, everything here on earth has a down side to it. And that is also for a day like Saint Nikolaas, or Christmas, these are days, the reality is found IN Christ.
    But many have written about that already here, it is Jesus who makes our day…

  20. foreverblessed says:

    If I am allowed to, to make a down side up, if you have nobody around you, and want an idea,
    Some information about other things we do over here on Santa Claus, or Sinterklaas:
    The last couple of years our children did not have enough time to make the suprise gifts, and so we changed our evening into a suprise gift party:
    Everybody brings two little gifts, a funny gift (something to laugh about, something you made yourself), and a nice gift, but we agree about a price: this year not more then 10 euro.
    On the evening we first have dinner together, not too long as the suprise party takes a long time.
    It goes like this, all the gifts are put together on the middle of the table, and then we dice.
    We have 3 rounds of dicing,
    The first round: if you throw a 6 you can choose a gift,
    if you throw a 1 you have to do a quiz question, (you could make that a bible quiz), if you throw a 2 you have to put on a santa claus hat. You can think of many things you can do. Each year we change it, to make it a suprise thing
    But the gift you have is not yet yours:
    When all gifts have been chosen, everybody has two gifts the next round starts:
    you dice, and with a 3 you have to pass on one gift to the person left of you, with a 6 you have to pass on to the right. With the quiz on 1, or on 2 say up a poem, (or sing a song)
    And the gifts go around the table, which is a lot of fun
    We do that for 15 minutes,
    and then starts the last round:
    It also takes 15 minutes,
    ANd at the end, when the bell goes, you keep the gifts that are in front of you:
    It is such a big fun.

    You can organise it yourself, invite different people, they have to bring two gifts with them, and there you go, make the dinner simple, and have a party:
    A lot of laughing.
    This year none of our kids had time on Sinterklaas on december 5, so now we do it on the second Christmas day, december 26.
    (We have a first Christmas day and a second christmas day, like we have a first and a second Easter day.)

  21. SFDBWV says:

    My mother loved Christmas, our home was always decorated inside, a tree, all the christmas cards always displayed in such a manor as so all who came in could read them.

    For many years I tried to continue that tradition, but don’t anymore…maybe I should.

    Several years ago at Christmas I gave a bag of apples to a German friend of mine, she was overjoyed…I had not realized it was a custom in her native land.

    As I reflect about the days when life seemed different, it was always warm in the house and there were always something cooking in the kitchen. Christmas was a time of being family and being together…

    I think this is what is sad for people who at Christmas have no one to share the warmth of the season with, or even a warm place to be.

    I suppose our old friend Charles Dickens did a good job by writing the famous “Christmas Carol”

    I have a recording called “Christmas in the Trenches”, it is a sad song about WWI and a time when both sides of the war came together on Christmas eve to sing and celebrate Christ….the next morning was war as usual.

    I think that no matter how we celebrate, let us celebrate together, our Lord and King of Kings..

    4 degrees this morning and no visability….Not a good weather day in the mountains of West Virginia.

    Steve

  22. SFDBWV says:

    A couple years ago Mart posted a ecard for all of us at Christmas…”Mary Did You Know?”

    I put in in my favorites and every now and then when I needed to hear it I play it..A Christmas song all year anytime.

    Thanks again, Mart
    .
    Steve

  23. Elaa says:

    “Mild He laid His glory by
    Born that man no more may die
    Born to raise the sons of men
    Born to give them second birth
    Hark, the herald angels sing
    Glory to the new born King!”

    I’ve always loved Christmas. God blessed me with the gift of communication when I was born, and Christmas songs always spoke to my heart even as a child. Then there were the church programs. More songs, more meaning. The school programs. Yet more songs and more meaning. And the neighborhood carolling at home. For us, there was also the new outfit for Christmas day service and the feasting. And the decorations. We were never quite big on the gifts bit, just the celebrations. But we were very big on Christmas cards – meaning cards, words that really spoke. Now I wonder if people read cards anymore.

    In New York, my sister and I used to spend our Christmas (and thanksgiving) mornings volunteering at the celebrations in a senior center. Both our parents are deceased and it was such a blessing to wait on the seniors on this day.

    The joy of Christmas went out the door after I got married – even though looking back now, that’s when I need to understand the hope I had in the birth of a savior. Anyway, my daughter is two and a half now, and her teacher told me at her daycare she said we didn’t have a Christmas tree at home. I remembered how I celebrated Christmas for my older daughter and how my parents celebrated Christmas for me, and I decided she didn’t need to suffer unjustly. So yes, I have a Christmas tree up now. Yesterday, when I picked her up from day care she asked me, “Mama, what do you what for Christmas?” I thank God for the season of Christmas.

  24. dredford says:

    As I reflect on my 51 years, there have certainly been Christmases that have been “dark and cold,” particularly those where someone who was there last year is not here this year. I know there will be “dark and cold” Christmases ahead, some probably “darker and colder” than I can even imagine. But because of the One who came to take us from “darkness” to light, from death to life, from an enemy of His to His friend, how can I not celebrate and rejoice? Even if I have nothing, or next to nothing, I still have Him! It is not about the presents, the tree, the food, and even the friends and family (although these are all good things, gifts from the Giver), it is about Him. God with man. He became one of us. What a joy to celebrate this amazing thing! My hope, my prayer, for all of us is that God Himself, in the midst of your “darkness and coldness” will help you find Him, the Light and Life, this Christmas season.

  25. Elaa says:

    This allows for easier reading

    An article I submitted for our newsletter last Christmas.

    Christmas Season Lessons

    Beyond the fact that “Jesus is the reason for the season”, I like Christmas time because of the many opportunities it provides to believers to look at who they are and whose they are.

    Without God, whose we are, there would be no Christmas. It was He, who thought nothing of sending His only begotten Son, to the world, with the ultimate goal of making Him (His Son) a living sacrifice. Love gives no matter the price, is a Christmas lesson.

    Jesus Christ, the second person of the Godhead, though nothing of taking on human flesh and being born in a manger. Humility, however highly God has placed you, is a Christmas lesson.

    Virgin Mother Mary had lived a life that when a human channel was sought for the coming of Christ, God found in her a worthy vessel. And she accepted the calling of God on her without hesitation. Preparing and yielding ourselves to be used of God, is a Christmas lesson.

    The three wise men travelled from afar, to find Jesus searching for Him diligently, even to King Herod’s palace. They were also prepared to find Him, and to honor Him when they did, hence their gifts. Fervently seeking the Lord and honoring Him when He is found, is a Christmas lesson.

    The Shepherds in the fields heard the message of Christ’s birth from the angels and immediately, they left their flock seek Him. Not delaying in responding to the Word of god is a Christmas lesson.

    The three wise men and the shepherds all gathered at the stable because the Son of God was there in a manger. “It is not where we are, but who we are, and whose we are that really matter” is a Christmas lesson.

    I did end the article with “Mild He lays His glory by…” which obviously is my favorite Christmas carol!

  26. Ruth says:

    I have wonderful memories of Christmas as a child and even as an adult until 2004. My oldest sister was killed in a car accident. She was the hub of our family, having 4 children, she did Christmas big. It was more of the gifts than the celebration of Jesus birth but even so it was a wonderful time, stressful because of broken families, nonetheless memorable. Her death changed that for me, holding on to past memories and having the family dynamics change, I have not liked Christmas and would prefer to go away. I don’t like listening to Christmas music. My beloved mother passed away this January and I feel very alone. I’ve mentioned my dislike of the holiday to my niece & great-niece whom I am very close to.
    My great-niece reminded me that it is about Jesus birth. Out of the mouth of babes!! I’m praying that God will soften this hard heart of mine and I will look forward to being with people that care for me, listen with joy to the beautiful music of Jesus birth! I ask for your prayers. Happy Birthday Jesus!!

  27. joyous153 says:

    I love this part of your post: “it may be important to remember that the journey to a feed trough we now call the manger didn’t always feel good to Mary and Joseph—even as the King of kings was being “formed” in her.”

    Oftentimes, as the very nature of Christ is being formed in me, the situation I am facing doesn’t feel good…but the end, as God brings me through it, displays a miraculous birth of part of His lovely character in me. It is almost too awesome for my human mind to comprehend. Christ….in me. Wow.

  28. asonnenburg says:

    Christmas’s are becoming dark and cold since the Walmart’s and Macy’s are winning the battle during the Christmas season. I don’t get excited about buying gifts since it’s “things” that they really don’t need. I have tried to communicate to my family that we are guilty of filling land fill sites with “things” that we thought would make us and others happy but they end up there regardless, it was just a matter of time. Can anyone list the gifts they received in the last 5 years? I can’t even remember last year. I’m searching this Christmas season to find that Jesus is the reason for the season. art

  29. poohpity says:

    Saturday I was so disenchanted with all of Christmas with the death of both parents and my aunt that I was even questioning my birth and pining for death. Troubles with children and other family matters I felt so overwhelmed. Then as I was reading scripture I was so reminded that the Lord’s mercies and grace are bigger than anything I am going through.

    The church service on Sunday I was reminded that “A Baby Changes Everything”. It is the Lord who is in control and He never gives me more than I bare. Today’s reading in Psalm 42:11
    Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
    I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

    ODB “Where’s Johnny’s CAP” reminded me that there are going to be those times when things happen but the blessings I am missing by looking at the negative rather than the power and authority that God has over all things has brought Joy to my heart.

    I may not put up the Christmas decorations this year but that is alright and things are not going to be the same as they were before but that is alright. I will grieve the losses of my family and pray for the troubles my children are having and be so very thankful that I have a friend who is with me and nothing can separate me from His love. I pray I am not so wrapped up and tied like a bow in the creation but I have become an open gift that can worship the Creator.

    My heart breaks for those of you who are going through troubling times now and I pray that they will get better soon which I have faith in God that they will but until then that there be arms out there to hold you tight and shoulders to cry on when you feel the tears coming and the knowing that you are never alone with the Lord at your side. God is the only thing in our lives that remains the same and never changes and nothing can take us from His love. Remember “A Baby Changes Everything”.

  30. Joseph Falcone says:

    It seems that a lot of bad things have happen to me in the month of December. I don’t blame the holidays for this, just the month of December. When I get to heaven all will be explained. Have a blessed holiday season and Merry Christ-mas.

  31. MikeBlitzMag says:

    Upon reading this article, I didn’t doubt for a second that you would find a considerable amount of solidarity from others, especially given the economic climate of 2010.

    Not that our interest in Christmas should revolve around the peripheral and material issues. Quite the contrary. Nonetheless, in times such as these, concerns about finances, health and other major issues have been front and center in the thinking of a vast number of people.

    What to do? Keep trusting in the Lord. Granted, that can sound like a pious platitude to someone is consumed with worry about other issues. But it’s true, nonetheless. Jesus Christ needs to be first and foremost in our lives each and every day of the year, not just on arbitrary holidays like Christmas.

    To those recalling past Christmases that may contain sad memories, or who might be anticipating that Christmas 2010 might be an unhappy time, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Like the song by the Essex said, it might be Easier Said Than Done. But it’s worth the effort, nonetheless. Trust the Lord on that one!

  32. oneowillie says:

    In my childhood, I always believed in Santa. Then one Christmas when I was about nine years old, I found out,just by chance, that there was not a real Santa. I was highly disappointed! After I got married, I started to be so sad during Christmastime. I never could figure out the reason for this until the year my husband passed away. He died in November of 1991 and the Christmas since then I have been as sad. My assumption of this is that my sub-conscience could sense that I would have this tragedy in my life. Now I know that my God sent His only begotten Son into the world and He is the reason for the Christmas season and not Santa Claus.

  33. xrgarza says:

    I’m loving all of the stories my heart goes out to all of you that have experienced pain during this time.

    I had a co-worker once tell me that we should not celebrate Christmas because it is not scriptural. We are to remember Christ death. Interesting thought.

    As a child I remember Christmas as a big family event, the light and the glitter.

    But all of that changed in 1970 my father whose birthday was in December died in December from that moment on Christmas and December has never the same.

    Even after the grandkids came, I don’t have a tradition established that I could offer them and don’t even know where to begin.

    Well this year being very significant to me because it marks the 40th year that my father has been gone, I can relate to the nation of Israel and their 40 years in the desert. The cool thing is that I can now say that I survived the desert.

    So beginning this year I want to turn the focus back on family my family, I hosted a mini family reunion last week with all of my family that lives here in Sacramento, we have never done this before, it was awkward, but refreshing.

    I feel so good that I actually put lights on my windows this year.

    Faith without works is dead, there is no magic wand, someone has to take the first step to towards change, this year I praise God for the courage I needed to take that first step.

    Merry Christmas! And to all a Blessed and Prosperous New Year!

    Rocky Garza

  34. xrgarza says:

    Sorry for all of the missed letters, words and extra words. :)

    Rocky

  35. marma says:

    The light of the world is Jesus. In the midst of the darkness that each one of us has or is experiencing, chinks of like break through as each one expresses their faith in Jesus.

    I’ve heard it expressed that Christmas is basically a pagan holiday with Jesus birth thrown into the mix. What I see on this blog is how Jesus saves us during this holiday, that without Him, despair would have free and complete reign.

    Thank you all for sharing your burdens and the encouragement you have received.

  36. 1jhurns says:

    Christmas is my favorite Holiday, along with Easter, especially since I’m a believer & I know the true meaning. I love the Christmas songs & sing them & am happy. I’ve always celebrated whether saved or not (which is the case for most people). But being saved, I started traditions with my family & fought through the rough bumps the enemy threw at me with the financial challenges. I lost my mom Jan. 11, ’89. For some years now, every year at this time, we have lost several family members back to back & it’s very hard. I’m a pray-er & I pray before the holidays approach that God would hold back the death angel. But the trials I’ve faced teach me to be appreciative knowing that God is in control in spite of what we go through.

  37. daveschneider1835 says:

    Maybe there’s a good reason why God never tells us anywhere in Scripture to celebrate Jesus’ birth. He gave the account of Jesus’ birth, but never gave us any instructions regarding a celebration to commemorate it. As Bob from Cornwall said, we’re told to remember the Lord’s death until he comes, but we’re not told to do anything regarding His birth.

    The fact that the choice of the date for celebrating Jesus birth was designed to coincide with the pagan Roman holiday of the feast of Sol Invictus should tell us something. Many respected Bible scholars believe that Jesus was actually born in the spring, at the time the temple lambs would have been born in the fields around Bethlehem, which is why the shepherds were out there watching those flocks.

    Our family celebrates Christmas, but the celebration is focused around the fact that the road from Bethlehem and the manger leads to Jerusalem and the cross. The angels announced that “unto you is born … a Saviour. That’s the real message of Christmas, God gave us a Saviour to do for us what we could never do for ourselves, save us from our sins. No matter what our circumstances, that should be our source of joy at this season.

  38. poohpity says:

    There’s another one of those should’s, lol. It would be nice.

  39. Rajnesh says:

    The darkest part about my last few Christmas’ is that I for one reason or another find myself out of work. Along with being a grinch come holiday season, I also find ways to self-destruct.

  40. bubbles says:

    This may be too off topic to leave up here.

    It’s interesting, even strange, how closely our emotions are connected to the seasons.

    Every year in September, when the seasons begin to change and the sunlight decreases, sadness/loneliness visits my heart. It stays until the weather breaks in April. I had a cousin close to my age die suddenly 6 years ago in September. My mother died before Thanksgiving 33 years ago. My uncle was buried the day before Christmas eve several years ago. New Year’s eve reminds me of the day my grandfather was buried. Early February reminds me of when my grandmother was killed. If only there was a fast forwrd button from August to April–the fall/winter could be skipped! So, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s have pretty much always been painful times of the year since I was 8 years old.

    My mother was the only one I can be certain was a believer. I could not wish her back here–she is much better off in Heaven, even though she is sorely missed.

    But, I CAN be VERY thankful to God for the time He gave me to know and love these family members while they were here.

    Thank God for the comfort He supplies. He will never leave us or forsake us. God the Father turned away from His own Son and left Him alone on the cross, and yet He promises to NEVER leave US. . . we certainly don’t deserve this promise. He is so good to us.

    And, one day in Heaven, all of the pain/sorrow we experience here will be no more.

  41. poohpity says:

    Even the Grinch’s heart got softened by kindness.

    I think there are more days than not that we can experience no sorrow and can be filled with Joy because the sun (Son) is out it is just on the other side of the clouds. :-)

  42. Rajnesh says:

    Thanks Pooh, you always make me feel better. More often than not being here made me feel better.

    Bubbles, that is so sadly beautiful.

  43. oneg2dblu says:

    Praise God that his word declares, we do not
    have to be down trodden by our circumstances,
    because it is passages like found in Habakkuk
    3:17-19 where joy abounds regardless!
    “Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
    though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
    though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
    yet I will rejoyce in the Lord
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.
    The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to go on the heights.GWW

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