Got an e-mail from a Christian bro who said anger management is the #1 issue in his men’s recovery group. He adds that he’s seen so many guys self-destruct, and wishes men knew how to understand Jesus’ ability to feel strong emotion without losing control.
He went on to say that, while he knows both men and women struggle to cope with pressure, he thinks men need special help dealing with their rage. Does he have a point, or just looking at it from a man’s perspective?
In the previous conversation, we began talking about the relationship between love and anger. Thinking about the strong emotions of Jesus, as he turned over the tables of the moneychangers gave us an occasion to think about the difference between healthy and unhealthy “indignation”.
As noted in comments to that post, many references in the Bible talk about the anger of the Lord (Exod 32:22). One refers to Nehemiah who was furious at the way his people were letting their sons and daughters go into slavery (Neh 5:5-8). His anger, like that of the LORD, is motivated by love and therefore an expression of virtue rather than vice.
So in response to the question above, and to continue talking about what it takes to move from dangerous anger to its healthy counterpart (i.e. also Eph 4:26), let’s turn back a few pages.
The most notoriously angry man in the Bible may be Saul, the first king of Israel. Even though he is described as a handsome man who stood head and shoulders above other men of his generation, his story shows us another emotion that is so often behind our rage (1Sam 18:6-12).
Saul comes to us compared to his far from perfect, but highly honored successor, David, who is called a man after God’s own heart (1Sam 13:14; Acts 13:22).
Am wondering whether by looking at the difference between David’s heart and Saul’s we might find some more insight in dealing with the rage that can consume us– and those around us.
Does the fact that David is known for his healthy “fear of the Lord” while Saul is known for his “fear of David” give us another look at “the fear factor”.
And can imperfect men (and women) like us identify more easily with the way David responded to his own fear– than by reflecting on Jesus running the moneychangers out of the temple?
If we think about the fear behind Saul’s self-destructing anger do we even have reason to think about the roots and development of our own fears—that keep us from finding the thoughts and Source of real self-control?
Yeh, there’s too much here to get our arms around. But this isn’t something we are going to solve in a day either. Maybe, together, we can help one another take a few steps in the right direction.