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Adoption Option

Posted by Mike Wittmer (Guest Blogger)
May 10th, 2010 19 Comments » 

I’ve been thinking lately about inviting a guest blogger from time to time to give us a change of pace and some different perspectives to think about. So please welcome Mike Wittmer. He’s one of our regular bloggers at Our Daily Journey. Over the next couple weeks, we’ll be featuring a few of his posts and have also invited him to join in on the discussion! —Mart

Read: Matthew 5:13-16

In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father (v.16).

In his Apology (AD 197), Tertullian argued that the Roman government should stop persecuting its best citizens. He said that Christians not only prayed for the emperor and the empire, but they also sacrificed for the sake of their neighbors. He said they pooled their money “to feed the poor and to bury them; for boys and girls who lack property and parents; and then for slaves grown old and ship-wrecked mariners; and any who may be in mines, islands, or prisons.” They didn’t use their cash to fund lavish banquets as the Romans did.

This “trust fund of piety” was so successful that when a new emperor named Julian the Apostate wanted to return Rome to its pre-Constantinian, pagan ways a century and a half later, he discovered that paganism had been thoroughly discredited by the charity of the Christians. Julian complained that he could not turn people from the Christian faith when “the impious Galileans [Christians] support not only their own poor but ours as well.”

A similar opportunity exists today. James 1:27 states, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress.” Christians are rightly known for opposing abortion. What if we were also known for supporting adoption?

What would happen if our churches were lovers of orphans; if our church directories were as diverse as the world; if we made disciples of all nations in part by adopting their most at-risk members; and if mothers considering abortion chose life because they knew they could give their child to any number of Christian homes?

We would be imitators of God, who has adopted us into His family, and we would generate praise from non-Christians who witness our good works. They just might become followers of Jesus; but if not, they would at least understand why someone would.

If you can’t adopt a child, perhaps you can provide prayer, financial, and family support to those who do. What will you do today for needy orphans?


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Filed in Life in Christ, love of God, social issues

19 Responses to “Adoption Option”

  1. refump says:
    May 10, 2010 at 7:39 am

    Our pastor often challenges us with the statement, “If our church closed it’s doors, would the community miss us”.

  2. Grace48 says:
    May 10, 2010 at 8:13 am

    Perhaps it would make ll the difference in the world if Christians could or would do all those things that you suggested. Sometimes so much the most bitter pain of poverty is the wrong judgements of poverty, the words hurled out by others that you should be doing better and that somehow you deserve every bit of what you have and are or are not. And then comes the shame and the guilt because you know you should be doing better and you think of all that you,ve tried and it still didn’t change much at all. And these are words and feelings from someone who’s poverty isn’t as severe as the orphans. What a difference it would make for frightened, lonely hungry orphans.

  3. Grace48 says:
    May 10, 2010 at 8:14 am

    typo. It should have read all the difference in the world…

  4. poohpity says:
    May 10, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Before reading this morning I woke up with the thought what is the difference between my neighborhood and going to my church. I have to say that I do not see much difference. It just may be the particular church I go to but I have found that so many stand up for their particular beliefs in politics but however forget the commands given to us about caring for the hungry, the fatherless, homeless, widows and the thirsty.

    It seems that every cause that they go to help is like a grandstand moment not like it is just an everyday happening. Maybe I am wrong but shouldn’t we give so much that it is the norm rather than the exception. Mercy should begin at home within our church walls but it seems that judgment, condemnation and criticism is running rampant where charity should be found.

  5. poohpity says:
    May 10, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I wanted to let you know Mike that over the last 10 years I have provided some support for three children, one through Compassion International and two through World Vision. I am on a limited income but have found that I have way more than they do and it is a blessing to provide for them. All of these children are from different parts in Africa. After being a single mom I do not know if I would have the patience to care for another child in home. It would not be in their best interest, lol.

  6. SFDBWV says:
    May 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Speaking as to the *Body of Christ* there are Christian orphanages all over the world. I think that Christianity does a great job in careing for the fatherless and the homeless.

    Speaking as to a family adopting a child or children into their family. I believe there to be no more noble cause that to give such a gift to a child.

    However, there is a long list of cautions that can be attached to such an arrangement.

    First of all what are your motives in adopting? Is it to provide a loving home to one who has none?

    Or is it because you think it is the right thing to do?

    Or is it the trendy thing to do.

    I have read where Madonna, and Sandra Bolluck (sp?) and other celebrities have adopted children from outside their ethnic families.

    Who is this best for, what are the reasons for such an arrangement?

    If your church is encouraging adoption, are they willing to help in the raising and development of the child? Both physicaly as well as finacialy?

    If you are so called, older children or developmentaly challanged children also are available for adoption.

    Before you take on such a responsibility, do you understand the difficulities and special needs of children like that?

    Don’t misunderstand my comments, I have both raised foster children and adopted. I know what a life commitment it is.

    To attempt to tie an attitude of being against abortion with a willingness to adopt is more than a stretch.

    I don’t care what side of the aisle your politics are on, the murder of unborn babies for the convienence of the parents is cold blooded murder.

    The answer to preventing unwanted children into situations of either orphanages or adoption, is a much larger issue of moral responsibility. As well as the education of what having sex means.

    There is a personal responsibility that must be taught and understood to a poulation who has been taught that if it feels good do it.

    If you are a young family with the means and have settled into a good loving relationship between husband and wife, and are so moved by the Holy Spirit to adopt, then by all means do so.

    But if your motive is because it is the right thing to do…don’t

    If your having problems with your marrage…don’t

    Think only of the child and what you can provide for them…not of what they can provide for you.

    Steve

  7. saled says:
    May 10, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Mike, thank you for the history lesson and this look at the early church. Your emphasis here is adoption, but some of us will be called to the other expressions of love mentioned by Tertullian: feeding and burying the poor, caring for the ship-wrecked, the elderly slaves, those in prison, etc. Today’s ship-wrecked are maybe the drug addicts and alcoholics, and the slaves grown old the people who spent themselves in service occupations to earn only poverty in their retirement.

    I’m ashamed to say that I have done very little of this. For most of my life, I tried to protect myself from having to deal with the messy details of people with needs such as these. For me, some of my family members fit in these categories. The application of this lesson begins at home for me.

  8. Bob in Cornwall England says:
    May 11, 2010 at 12:42 am

    I personally do not like the idea of the “church” stepping into the realm of adoption.
    In the UK the catholic church adoption agency closed down because it would not follow the law and help gay and lesbian couples adopt.
    The “church” always has a hidden agenda of pushing moral ethics and even “christ” onto people who are just wanting to love and help children and have the “wealth” to do so.
    As a gay man I have no partner so obviously no children, but would have loved to had the oppertunity to adopt and have my own family. (single people in the UK are allowed to adopt)
    I feel there is a great difference as christians in quietly helping others such as alcoholics and family members with problems and “church” sponsored showy efforts that are designed more to impress than to serve.
    I have always been a little anti established church and feel the time is coming when all christians will be as one through the Holy Spirit, just as in politics, the time has come to stop compeating as different factions and to get on with the job.
    Bob

  9. mikewittmer says:
    May 11, 2010 at 8:20 am

    I have learned much again from your comments. I agree that we must be very careful with our motives and not adopt out of guilt or because it’s trendy. As you have shared, adopting or even being a foster parent is extremely hard work, and it often goes unappreciated by the child we are loving. Not everyone is called to adopt, but it seems that the rest of us can at least provide a support network for those who do.

    Bob, I appreciate your perspective, and I’d guess that among Christians there is a diversity of opinion about homosexuals adopting children. For instance, if a single heterosexual may adopt a child, then on what legal basis would we exclude a homosexual single from adopting a child as well?

    I hear your pain from not being able to have your own family. I am very sorry for this absence in your life, and I hope that God will provide you with close friendships that may fill some of this void. And as difficult as this may be for you, I hope that you can understand the church’s position–when we speak on human sexuality from the Word of God we are attempting to be faithful to our Lord and love people by sharing God’s Word with them. Please understand that we are intending to help rather than hurt people. I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but I think that both sides (yours and the church) are probably trying to do what they think is best.

  10. SFDBWV says:
    May 11, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Some may remember the orphan trains of the early part of the 20th century. They were an unpleasent part of our American history.

    I remember meeting one of the people who was one of such orphans. She had been adopted from an orphanage to a farm family…..it seems the purpose was to provide free farm hands. Little more than a cared for slave until she could grow up and get on with her own life.

    My own father and his brother were sent to an orphanage at a very young age, a convenience for his mother. They lived there for about 4 years before the man she married believed it was in everyones best intrest to reunite the family and went and got the boys out and brought them home.

    The experiance forever influenced my father, and his own decisions about life.

    I have watched as government attempts to fix broken families have failed and succeded, to some degree.

    Are local churches helping to solve social problems of unwanted pregnancies? As well as alcoholism, drug addiction, domestic abuse, unemployment, homelessness?

    As usual most only give money toward a central organization that may provide some effort aimed at solving these problems.

    Most church members don’t really know how they can help solve the social ills of their communities.

    Sure they can pray, and should.

    Some bigger churches may have a soup kitchen whereby they may offer a meal to the homeless, some more wealthy may ever have shelters to provide a place to sleep for the night.

    But how many would open up their front door to a stranger to spend the night or fix them a meal from their own kitchen.

    My father never went to church, but he would bring home people every now and then in the middle of the night and my mother would get up out of bed and feed them. they could sleep on our porch most often and be gone in the morning.

    My great grandmothers house was marked by the ho bo’s as a place to get a meal.

    As the good Samaritan, Jesus taught from, showed us what Jesus wants from us. We should do what we can, God will provide the means and the opprotunity if we are open to it.

    Steve

  11. poohpity says:
    May 11, 2010 at 8:42 am

    I do not believe that anyone should be prevented from adoption as long as they are able to parent a child with the child’s best interest in mind. The government I do not believe is able to solely determine that nor is the church as a matter of fact half the people that have children should have never been allowed to have them but who should be the one who determines who can have a child and who can’t. Slippery slope isn’t it. If I were the judge and jury I would have never allowed someone like me to have a child much less three to be raised in a single parent home below poverty level. Just another method of playing God. You do not even have to be different sexes to have a child now with the help of science, go figure. You can even find children in the trash bins or flushed down the toilet.

  12. poohpity says:
    May 11, 2010 at 8:53 am

    If the church determines that a sinner of any sort should not have a child then there would be no one to have a child whether through adoption or fostering. That would be purely hypocritical don’t you think. If one truly believes that a sin is a sin.

  13. poohpity says:
    May 11, 2010 at 9:04 am

    I have allowed people I did not know to come into my home and spend almost two months there. I had only a 700 square foot apartment with two small bedrooms and opened my door to two women and a teenage boy. Another time in the same apartment a women with three children. So we had me and my two kids and those others talk about cozy but eventually everyone was able to move into their own places they just needed some temporary help.

  14. foreverblessed says:
    May 11, 2010 at 9:20 am

    Mike, you came up with adoption as an alternative of christions to fighting abortion? Is that right?
    Let me add one thing: Before adoption, the woman needs help to keep the child. Here in our country we have a charity ministry that is called: For the Unborn Child.
    They are christian, and they advertise a lot, to speak to the mother who has an unwanted pregnancy. She needs help to keep the child, and that’s what they offer, encouragement, comfort, love. And maybe she even wants to be the mother to the child herself!

  15. SFDBWV says:
    May 11, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Not far from us here is a place called Burlington Home. It is owned and operated by the Methodist Church and originaly was an orphanage.

    Most of my adult life I have donated to it. That being the little way I could help them.

    Somewhere over the past 40 years it has become more of a home for unwanted children.

    They come from families of alcohol and drug abuse, some whose single mothers are incarcerated or just gave the children to the state because they no longer can or want to care for them.

    Many are troubled and are themselves only not in jail because of their age.

    Nearly all are the product of social ills and the failures of many.

    In one story I will tell, of a friend of ours who took in a sister and brother as faoster children.

    My friends provided a safe loving Christian home to the two. The sister went on to college married a local man and for the most part is living happily ever after. Though she herself married a non christian and does not attend church or show any desire to present herself as Christian. They have two children.

    The brother, began stealing from his foster parents and soon become a threat to the safety of the very people who brought them into their home. He started running away and as soon as he was 18 disappeared from from view and has no contact with sister or his foster parents….THeir mother is a product of alcoholism and drug addiction.

    So where does this leave us?

    Yes we should do all we can to save thoes lost souls around us, but that doesn’t mean all will work out the way we would like for it to.

    Only God and the saving grace of Jesus Christ can change a heart…..

    Steve

  16. mikewittmer says:
    May 11, 2010 at 10:42 am

    foreverblessed:

    I don’t intend adoption as an alternative to fighting abortion but as a helpful corollary. I think that we need to do both.

  17. foreverblessed says:
    May 11, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I very much appreciate the historic description of our christian forefathers, they were known then for their charity. That is such a good axample for us.
    Wish we would do that more and more. That as Pooh asked, does our church make a difference in our town?

    Steve, we should be leaving the judging of the usefulness to God.
    If we have to consider whether our help would be fruitful, we many a times will not help. Let God do that judging, and let us hear where God leads us to help, and obey that call.
    What if people who have helped us to come to Christ, would have said: It is no use, lets not do it.

  18. sbrewster says:
    May 11, 2010 at 11:29 am

    I am the product of orphans. My father’s parents both passed away – his mother from childbirth complications when he was 13yrs old and his father 6mos later from tuberculosis (sp?). My dad had older brothers and sisters, but most of them had already left home to start their own lives/families. Other families in the community looked out for him and took him in. My dad grew up to become a wonderful man and a great father.

    My maternal grandfather was born to an 11yr old who had been sexually molested. He was taken away as a baby and raised by a neighborhood family. My grandmother often said he was left with some problems because he was mistreated by the family that raised him.

    My bestfriend and her brother entered the foster care system after her mother held her out a window and threatened to drop her on her head. They were adopted by an older couple who sent both of them to private Christian schools. Today, she is a medical doctor. A pediatrician. Her brother has a master’s degree and works for the state dept of social services. Part of his duty is to remove endangered children from bad homes. Ironic isn’t it. They’ve both dedicated their lives to helping children in need.

    I’ve often thought about my lineage – the daughter of two orphaned boys. My dad and my grandfather shared a close and special bond and I think it was forged in their experiences from being “adopted”. Ironically, they passed away 5mos apart.

    I have personally been thinking about adopting for a long time. Prior to marrying, I had begun the process to become a foster mom. And even now after having had my own child, I have often felt the tug in my heart to resume the process, but I want to make sure that I am doing it for the right reasons – not because it would be good for my daughter to have a sibling. In my local area, there’s a show that comes on weekly called Wednesday’s Child showcasing children in need of permanent homes. I often wish I could give a child a loving caring home.

    Raising children is not easy – even the ones you give birth to. There is no guarantee your birth child or one you adopt will hold to the faith, belief, values that you raise them in. Being a parent, regardless of where the child comes from, requires sacrifice and long suffering. All human beings bring with them issues and problems. There is no problem free human being. I have witnessed birth children steal from their parents as well as adopted children. Mostly, children are ungrateful. They don’t often think about what it requires of you to raise them. Sometimes, when I think on it – it reminds me to let my heavenly father know how grateful I am for His care for me.

    I guess I am rambling. Yes, we as the body of Christ should take care of those who are orphaned, widowed, impoverished, etc. We absolutely should do this. Not all are called to adopt, but we all are called to care and to do something to demonstrate God’s love.

  19. Bob in Cornwall England says:
    May 12, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Hi Mike,
    I always thought Mart should allow others to guest host this blog, maybe one day we will all be able to submit our thoughts as a topic for discussion. It is good to hear your thoughts.
    Don’t worry about me, God is for me so who can stand against me!
    I love Jesus very much and, like Foreverblessed in The Netherlands, live in a progressive country that may deal with issues more liberaly than the USA.
    Most issues are not as black and white as the “church” would like them to be, and I tend to occasionaly give an alternative view to stimulate disscusion here.
    As Steve suggests, all we can do is offer help in whatever situation we find people. Whether adoption or abortion we need to support the person involved. The good samaritan did not ask questions or wait to see the outcome, he just offered practical help at the time it was needed most. One sows, another waters, but God gives the increase.

    Bob

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