Text Size: Zoom In

To Forgive or Not

Yesterday, National Public Radio’s All Things Considered recognized the 45th anniversary of the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama.

It was on Sunday morning, September 15, 1963 that Christopher McNair and his wife Maxine lost their 11 year old daughter, Denise, in the blast that also took the lives of three other girls. The day, with its tragic losses, became an important turning point in the history of the American civil rights movement.

Now 82 years old, Christopher was asked to recall his memories of that Sunday morning.

As the interview drew to a close, the NPR interviewer gently asked Mr. McNair about the subject of the sermon for that day, “The Love that Forgives.” Christopher pointed out that the message was never given because the blast occurred between Sunday School and the morning worship service. The church clock is still frozen at 10:22. Then came the question, “Have you found it difficult to forgive?”

Christopher said something like, “I wouldn’t say that I’ve forgiven… but you have to rise above such things…”

The question reminded me of how many times I’ve heard the victims of terrible crime asked whether they have forgiven the person who took the life of a child, a parent or a dear friend. It also reminded me of how followers of Christ disagree among ourselves about whether it is our responsibility to unconditionally forgive everyone who does terrible things to those we love.

Assuming that we would all agree that bitterness and hatred are self-destructive and reflect poorly on our faith in Christ, I’d like to ask whether you think our Lord asks us to forgive everyone?

And, do we even know for sure whether God has forgiven the person or persons who rigged 19 sticks of dynamite to go off in the basement of the 16th Street Baptist Church on 10:22, September 15, 1963?

Is forgiveness the only way to get bitterness and hatred out of our stomachs?


Vote on whether you think this post is something you'll be thinking about:
Vote This Post DownVote This Post Up (+32 rating, 33 votes)
Loading...
14 Comments »

14 Responses to “To Forgive or Not”

  1. tallmark says:

    Yes, we are called to forgive. Often it is no easy thing to do. Some, like Christopher, have not been able to and does that make them a lesser person? I think not. I have not walked in his shoes. I am not to judge. Does God forgive? Yes, when we ask for his forgiveness. He does. No matter what. That is His wonderful love. I am in awe trying to comprehend how much he loves me.

  2. Mart De Haan says:

    tallmark, thanks for getting the conversation going. The question I’d ask then is, from all we know of the Bible, does God forgive everyone?

  3. plumbape says:

    of course God forgives everyone. One does have to seek forgiveness first. The enemy wants us to weigh sins so that the terrible ones seems unforgivable and the small ones seem almost condonable. If he can keep us from a relationship with the Lord he’s winning.

  4. Valkiria says:

    There we go again…forgive/forget! That’s so hard. Sometimes I find myself thinking about things that happened to me, people who hurt me and I decide that “I can’t forgive that!”, then the Holy Spirit will work in me and say, “Well, let’s compare THAT with all you sins..remember Jesus forgave each and every one of your sins. Which one is bigger and harder to forgive?”. Facing it, I have to forgive people who hurt me…but did I forget it? Should I keep staying in contact with them and give them another chance to hurt me? How can I forgive someone who didn’t ask me to forgive? WHo doesn’t even recognize they hurt me?
    Once, I was subject of prejudice, looked down because of my skin color. That hurt me so much! WHen I confronted the people who did that, instead of saying that they were sorry, they laughed and said that they were joking! How can I forgive them?
    I need all the help and prayer in this matter!

  5. Abate says:

    I agree with you, Mart.

    It is painful but it is the best and only effective medicine to take out our bitterness. It is the power that takes off the heavy and consuming burden of hatred. My prayers are for God’s grace to the parents and also such victims. The Lord of course said “revenge is His”.

    With much love and prayers.

  6. sitsathisfeet says:

    Forgiveness is such a very difficult thing. In 1John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. and in Matthew 6:12 forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… So, I believe we are to forgive, but we can not do it without the intervention of the Holy Spirit. We are unable to do this on our own we must seek the Lord’s help. When the two criminals were hanging on the cross next to our Lord, one choose to believe, one did not, one choose to repent, one did not, and the Lord said the one who choose forgiveness would be remembered in his kingdom. Aren’t we also to choose to love and forgive? This is one of the deep mysteries of the faith. I don’t know exactly how it happens, this forgiveness, but I trust in the Lord who is faithful to all his promises in his word, and when we are called to forgive he and he only, will enable us.

  7. daisymarygoldr says:

    “To forgive” is the very crux of our Christian faith that sets us apart from all other faiths, religions and philosophies of this world. To ensure a moral social order the person or persons will certainly have to face the legal consequences for committing that dastardly act. Of course, they can also be recipients of God’s forgiving love which He offers unconditionally if they wanted to accept it.

    It is very hard to forgive a stranger who suddenly comes and kills our loved ones without cause. We cannot excuse the offense or even forget the pain caused by it, we may not be able to ever trust the person who wronged us and though forgiveness is an act of reconciliation we may never be completely reconciled till the day we die.

    However, when we obey God’s command to forgive, regardless of repentance, we heap coals of fire on the head of our ‘enemy’. And yes, it is for our own good because even God forgives us for His own sake (Isa 43:25)!

  8. poohpity says:

    A teacher once taught me that forgiveness is a process not a feeling. Forgiveness does not mean I will never forget (but God does). It does not mean what was done to a person was right and it does not mean we have to hang around with that person. Forgiveness means letting go of trying to punish the offender and giving it to God to deal with. This process may take some time but even when a person never asks for forgiveness we still have to give it to God and forgive them. Without forgiveness we punish ourselves and are continuously carrying the burden of the offender with us and it can cause a lot of physical aliments such as ulcers, etc. and anger which leads to selfpity, the list goes on. Obviously God forgives all because at the cross He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing”. None of us at that time asked for forgiveness but He still forgave us. I do not feel His forgiveness has conditions or it would be earned. I know for sure I never earned that forgiveness and I have been forgiven much, you do not even know.:-)

    Love is not even a feeling it also is an action word that says we are going to seek the highest good for the one loved. If we are going to love them and ourselves then forgiveness is a must. It all goes hand in hand as we walk with our hand in HIS! It is much easier to look at our own sin and realize we have forgiveness than to harbor resentment or anger at someone else’s sin.

    The process can take time but it is worth it!

  9. Valkiria says:

    Margaret, I believe that “eat us alive” comes from the text in Heb. 12:15 “looking diligently over lest any one be failing of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up may give trouble, and through this many may be defiled;”.
    I know for a fact that that “root of bitterness” is very poisonous. Once we start mulling over things that have been done to us, we start getting angry and who knows what one can be able to do.
    We need to forgive and forget, and yet, it’s so hard. I can only repeat the words of the great apostle Paul “A wretched man I [am]! who shall deliver me out of the body of this death? – I thank God — through Jesus Christ our Lord; so then, I myself indeed with the mind do serve the law of God, and with the flesh, the law of sin.” Rom.7:24-25

  10. meandmy4grlz says:

    I thought I would share a blog that I had written on this subject. The “scars” that I talk about, are to symbolize what creates our testimony. Just as a bodily scar, there is a story behind how it happened etc.
    God bless!

    The bible says that we are to forgive, but does it say that we are to forget? What does “forgive” mean anyway? It is defined as, “allowing room for error or weakness”.

    Many times these “errors or weaknesses” cause hurts that leave scars. Scars that may not be visible to the human eye, but they are felt in your heart. If these scars did not remain, what would keep us from forgetting?

    Just as if you cut your arm; a scar replaces the open wound. The scar is an end result of the healing process. It is a part of you. You can choose to be disfigured by your “scars”, or you can choose to learn from them.

    Often times a hurt that has not been forgiven is like an open wound. It has not yet turned into a scar. Until you are ready to let the scab begin to form and the scar to appear, you will continue to hurt. Like me, you may find that you have to forgive your offender over and over again every day until the healing process begins.

    God says to forgive, but I don’t think that He wants us to forget. If forgiving meant forgetting, then wouldn’t we continue to let others hurt us over and over again in the same way?

    Unforgiveness can kill the spirit and steal the joy from your life. Being filled with this negetivity leaves no room for growth. Just think of all the greatnesses we miss out on by choosing not to forgive? Is it worth it? I don’t think so!

    Matt 6:14-15

    14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.